Thread: I want him back
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Old July 3rd, 2007, 11:21 AM  
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Join Date: March 4, 2007
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Default I want him back

My boyfriend and I broke up last night and I feel so worthless. All I ever did was love him with all my heart. Sure there were times when I was pissed or angry with him, but I loved him all the same. What happened last night crushed me. He knew it was hurting me, so he, like the amazing guy he is, tried to make it better for me. When he realized what he was doing, he told me that he knew he was hurting me, but he was sorry, genuinely sorry that he ruined our relationship. So I, in a fit of sadness, hurt and rage, refused to see his beautiful apology as genuine. I saw it as a scrambled attempt to keep us together. At this point, I didn’t want to hear another pitiful attempt, because he already made the decision to break us up. Those feelings came out before he thought about how it would effect me. I was so sad and hurt and angry that this was happening to us, to me. We were perfect for each other, and we both knew that. We had such a strong bond between us, that we were more than best friends. More than once we talked about spending the rest of our lives with each other. Everything that we were rushed through my mind, so I told him “We’re done. Everything about us from the day I first met you is done. Don’t call me; don’t email me; don’t love me; don’t talk to me and don’t worry about me. Just ask yourself, what did I ever do to you? Oh that’s right, I saved your life.” The last bit is too painful for me to even describe its meaning or even why I said it to him, but that was how deep our relationship went.

This morning I got an email from him and it was so perfect. He said, “I know you said no emails, but just one. Goodbye Steven, I love you. Goodbye.” It stole my heart like it was when I fell in love with him. I understood that all of his pleas to keep us together were passionate and sincere, no matter how scrambled they were. I want him back. I’m so lonely without him. He completes me, like he always had in the past.

Everglow Has Left this place for a while...or for good. Time will tell.
It was a beautiful letdown
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out...
I don't belong here
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