Guys will know they are in love when...
THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN I FELL IN LOVE FOR THE SECOND TIME IN MY LIFE...IT MAY BE MY LAST TIME DUE TO THE AMOUNT OF PAIN IT CAUSED ME.
Honestly. Love can only be described in actions. We cannot describe it in words. The closest is this: It is more powerful than a thousand lightning bolts hitting you at once. You cannot stop it. You cannot help it.
No matter how many personal standards you set four yourself, now matter what age limit you have, you cannot help but to fall in love with someone you know would be perfect. No matter how many trials you would have to work around, no matter how many difficulties, you still can't help it.
But when you are forcibly ripped from the person you love that you have just met for the first time in a year, and you are ripped 2000 miles from this person...it hurts. You feel so close to them, you want to believe that they are right next to you when you fall asleep.
You want to believe that they are with you.
You want to believe that they are thinking of you.
You want to believe things will happen quickly and you can move on to loving her more and more and more until you can finally be together.
You want to believe all of these things....
But as soon as you start believing it, reality comes to bitch slap you in the face and puts you down. It leaves you with little or no hope at all. You try to move on with your life, but you know more and more pain is coming down the road because this is not the last time you will see her.
You refuse to believe you will fall in love with her again,
But you can't help it when you stare into her beautful crystal blue eyes.
You can't help anything about it.
When you walk through the dark, you only remember on thing...the last words. The last words spoken.
The last words spoken to her were C'Ya!
She said the same to me.
I never say goodbye, because goodbye is forever, and I will see her again.
But you remember those words as if all the angels in heaven are singing a lovers requiem for you, but it makes you feel bad. It makes mee feel like I am Ghost, it makes me feel hurt, it makes me feel like dust because the only thing i hear ringning on and on in my mind is C'Ya which can be interperted a million different ways.
When will things finally work out for me?
When you finally feel like breaking down, and you cant help but get on your knees when the rain is pouring and the thunder is rolling, and the lightning is flashing lightning up the night sky, You realize one thing, hope.
It is right there in front of your face. It always has been, you just never reached for it long enough.
Tears begin to stream down your face dissapearing in the rain.
Tears mixed with sadness and joy. They all begin to combine causing mixed emotions to roll in your stomach making you sick...making you want to regret everything the world has to offer, making you want to regret falling in love in the first place.
Making you never wanting to fall in love ever again. But no matter how hard you try you cant but help it.
As you lay awake at night, gazing out your window at the full moon in which you stood under with her a month or so ago, you begin to cry yourself to sleep. You begin to question if you will ever been with her. You begin to question...if your love life is existant. You begin to question the very point of existance without her...
And then you go to sleep, and for a few hours dreams become reality.
In a few hours you dream of what you wanted to become reality.
You dream of the future.
You dream of finally being together.
You feel good.
You have the one you love in your arms.
You are talking.
You say "If It was my choice I would have never left you again. I love you so much," as you stare into those blue eyes. Then you kiss...a gentle but calm kiss...a kiss that you would never expect out of her...a kiss that has her reply in it...the reply "I love you to..."
And then you wake up.
You dread everything. You want everything to go back. You want to go back to sleep so your dream will forever hold its peace. You want to kiss her again...you want to be with her again, but no matter what, you can't help it. You are awake now. You are under the shadow of creul reality and society in which she is one of the most important people in your life but you can't say "I Love You," to her because this is the real world now and it does matter and it will affect your future. You begin to realize this one thing:
What hurts the most is having so much to say to her...but not being able to say anything at all. What hurts the most is wanting so badly to say "I Love you," to her and not being able to say anything at all.
This is how I feel when I am in love.
I am in love.
It hurts so much.
I want it to stop. I just want to be with her.
Anything...I'll do anything for her.
What hurts me the most is not saying my feelings to her.
What hurts me the most is not seeing her.
What hurts me the most is not seeing the hope in this...even though I know there is some.
This is my love story
This is my lovers requeim.
Our Love will Never Die...
I Am Ghost
What we do in life echoes in eternity.