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Old June 20th, 2007, 05:59 AM  
Junior Member+
Crystal-Clear's Forum Picture
Join Date: June 20, 2007
Location: My Mind
Gender: Female
Default Why don't I feel proud...

Hi, I'm somewhat of a former self harmer
Somewhat being the operative word here.
I've been on and off cutting for around 4 years now, right now is an 'off' phase.
Because well basically when I started I knew loadsa people doing it, and after some stuff happened, I thought if it helped them, it helped me. Thats why I started, but after that I just carried on doing it, over anything.
Then I met my current boyfriend, and I told him after a month or so, and he wanted me to stop, and so I miraculously went a whole year, I just went cold turkey, but then things got a bit shook up and I messed up that count.
Anyways since then I've not managed more than 5 months, until now.
I met a guy last year, and his now one of my best friends, and pretty much him and my boyfriend have been everything to my success.
I've been clean for 10 months, and this is the second longest time I've gone, but despite everything, I still want to cut, I still get urges, and I can't count on my best friend and boyfriend all the time, can I?

Why don't I feel proud of myself?
One more question, do people here think theres such a thing as an ex-self harmer? Or is it just a self harmer that doesn't cut??

I don't want to be classed a self harmer that just doesn't cut forever..

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one." - Elbert Hubbard
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