Re: i want to smoke
i'm glad you dont not like me anymore. alright maybe i dont want to smoke.
i feel so insecure. i hang out with guys and i get irrationably jealous when they oggle girls. i dont say anything about it. i am so pathetic and starved for attention that i need to feel degraded by them and their rude comments towards me. i mean, they like me as a friend and i dont let them know i feel degraded and i just laugh when they say these things. id feel uglier without their retarded sexual innuendo towards me. but i cant stand that i am not as pretty as the girls they drool over and theirs nothing i can do about it. and i will continue to look the way i do with little difference for my prime dating years because i'm almost through with puberty. i'm pretty enough for any of the guys i hang out with to want to screw, but i cant date anyone because i know there's someone else who they think is prettier who they'd rather be with!
ugh. idk. i feel if i smoke, maybe some guy will notice something about me, an edgieness, that would set me apart from these other girls.