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Old May 27th, 2007, 08:04 AM  
Divide By Hero
Underground_Network's Forum Picture
Name: Adam
Join Date: February 3, 2007
Location: Somewhere over a tainted rainbow.
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 25
Exclamation I might be leaving (just for awhile, or maybe forever..)

There are two reasons I might be leaving (permanently or just temporarily). One is because my life has been a bit screwed up lately, I've leaned towards killing myself lately. I can't handle the pressures of school and the pressure brought on by the kids at my school. I only have a few friends and a lot of my friends have left me, because they want to be cooler. I've done several things I regret and I just don't know. I feel really upset and suicidal, even though I really have no reason to be upset. I'm afraid of the future, in all reality the present is fine, I'm averaging at least an A- in all my classes, what are left of my friends are still there for me when I'm down, but I'm just afraid of the future... I wanna kill myself before I mess up, it probably seems really strange, but I just can't help but want to kill myself... I feel my beliefs are wrong and everything I know is screwed up. I'm too apathetic and sadistic, although I'm not sure I'm exactly sadistic, I enjoy seeing other people in pain, but I don't like to be the pain-bringer. Also, it doesn't seem like I'm a necessity on this site, or that my comments mean anything, in fact, most of them just get ignored. And it also doesn't seem like this site can stop anyone from commiting suicide, you can provide support, yes, but you can't actually help anyone completely. I know through an online site its near impossible to help someone stop themselves, but I've actually heard of some really good sites, much better than this one. I might try them out but I don't know. I just added the poll because I want to know whether you think I should stay or not and whether my posts actually mean anything to anyone. I want you to answer truthfully. If you really want me to stay, I'll stay, although then again, no one will probably even post in this thread or vote on the poll.. a tie or less means I'm leaving, and if there are tons of people who don't care or want me to leave, then I'll be gone permanently. And it will most likely end up being either, I stay here or I'm gone permanently.

I'm way too high (too high too high)
To be feeling this dry and low
I'm way too tired, I've tried
I'm fired up and ready to roll
Letís go
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