Thread: how do i know
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Old May 16th, 2007, 08:18 AM  
New Member
Join Date: February 6, 2007
Location: bracknell
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Unhappy how do i know

how do i know if i have bipola or not i show lot signs of havin it, i go thought phases like

i be hyper as anythink and no one can dampan my mood
and then i can be really down and in mood
and i can go up down like yo yo with my mood in one day
and then i can just want cut all my wrist and just watch my self bleed
and then i just want kill my self somethimes
and i hav tryed kill my self many of times

and sometimes like i just can not cope with anythink
and i go thought stages of not understanding anythink that goin on around me and geting so confussed

i can wind my self up so much becase i do not understand somethink and i will cry because i can not cope with not understanding. i dunno what to do really i do not want be like this i h8 my life

i h8 talking to people when it comes to like talking about like what goin on in my life and what i hav to do like about job and housing ands anythink
i h8 talking when im at home i livin in my room as much as possible to avoide everyone so im not goin to be questioned about anythink or have to talk about how i feel

and if someone in my house hold ask me if im ok even if im not i say im fine and i do it to most my firneds apart from one them

i great putting up shield and everyone thinkin my life is perfect and there nothink wrong and life great and blar blar blar when rlly it not it shit im depressed in mood and wanting to die

i do everythink to help everyone else just so i do not have to even think on my self

i h8 change, i find it hard, i hav trouble letting go, and i rather hind in corner and never come out than things change but i face it anyway

i dunno i guess i find life so hard and i never know what mood im goin to be in
and i find it even harder to control how i feel or my mood at time

soemtime i feel like i be better of if i can nto feel anythink cause it be so much easyer but then i be lost with out beable to feel cause i dunno i just would
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