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Old May 14th, 2007, 09:48 AM  
schrei jess
Awesome Poster
 
Join Date: October 5, 2006
Age: 25
Gender: Undisclosed
Default It's coming back again.

I’m feeling the urges again and they get stronger every day. I’m having a lot of stress from school, and I still haven’t learned a healthy way to deal with it yet, and all I can think about is cutting or burning myself again. The more I think about it, the more it appeals to me, and the more I want to do it. Ever since I stopped, I’ve been feeling like a fake, like I’m not myself. And when I think about doing it again, I imagine myself feeling complete. I want to feel complete, and I want to feel real. And the only thing I can think of to make myself feel that is to hurt myself. I just don’t know how to cope with the stress, and I don’t know how to feel like I’m alive.

And I know that I’m asking for help here, sort of, but the sad part is, is that I don’t want help. I know that I want to do it again, and I want to feel the pain. It’s all I want right now. It’s all that I can think of to do. What is wrong with me, why can’t I just leave this all behind? Why is my mind always resorting back to this behavior?

I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.
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