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Old May 10th, 2007, 02:49 PM  
schrei jess
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Join Date: October 5, 2006
Age: 25
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Self-Injury School Project

In my health class for our final exam, we have to create a powerpoint on a disease of our choosing. I know self-injury isnt a disease, but I asked if I could do it anyway, and my teacher said that I could. We have to present it to her and the class on exam day. I chose it because I want to try and get people to understand it better, to see it isnt something stupid that you should just mkae fun off, but Im not sure that people will see it that way and take it seriously. Already these two girls have been making fun of me for choosing the topic, I have a feeling that when I present it, no one will take me or my presentation seriously.

Im wondering if I made a good choice now. So far, I dont think I have. Even though I know pretty much everything there is to know about SI, Ive still been looking things up, and to be honest, it is extremely triggering. Ive been so stressed out lately, and just reading the information makes me want and start it all over again. I dont want to start over with a new topic, I really dont have that option now, but I was already starting to slip before this and it really isnt helping.

Another thing Im not quite sure about, is if I should tell my experiences or not. Im sure I could get a better grade if I say that I had a problem with it, therefore making my information more accurate and more believeable (as Im sure some people in the class will think half of the stuff is just made up). But I feel conflicted when I consider doing this because a.) I dont want to use my SI as a way to get ahead, or to gain anything, I feel like Im just using it to get attention (though attention is the last thing I want) and b.) I dont know if I could handle having people joke about me, my experiences, or the whole topic in general.

It took FOREVER for me to even get to the point where I feel like I could possibly talk about it with other people, and Im not sure what it could do to me if someone makes fun of SI or of me. I have the worst self-confidence and esteem, I dont know if I could handle someone making a joke.

I know that deep down I want to present this topic, and I know that I want to tell people about it, but I doubt I could do it justice, I dont think I could have the confidence to present the information well. Just thinking about talking about it with people who probably dont even know anything about it makes me scared. Maybe I could do it if the people knew something about it already, and would possibly take it seriously, but could I do it when they'll probably make some joke? And do I really want people to know what I did, what I still could do?

Does anyone have advice for me?

I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.
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