Re: Can I change this?
DestroyTheFuture, Ive had one boyfriend before, and I cant really explain the relationship to you in one post. Basically, it was during my 7th and part of my 8th grade year, during which time I had extremely low self confidence and low self esteem, and I was REALLY shy - therefore we didnt talk much. It was also during the time my depression took it's first ugly turn, and I began cutting myself during that time - not having much time to try and talk to him etc. You wont understand the situation we had, so Im not really going to try and explain it - you'll just twist my words around and make it look like something else entirely.
I was young, obviously, during that time - 13 years old. 13 year olds dont really have true relationships, so Im not going to consider it a really meaningful relationship. And at the time, I didnt know much of anything about myself, I hadnt given much thought to what I was or felt, so I just assumed that that was what I was supposed to do.
Like I said before, Ive only recently begun realizing this is how I feel and Im pretty sure now that it is who I am. I went to that asexuality.org and joined their forums and had a quick chat with someone in the chatroom.
She said it might be due to my past experience when I was younger, so Im going to have that issue checked out and talk to my therapist about it and see if maybe it impacted my life more than I have realized.
And to Tortured Beauty, I dont do anything sexual, as the thought just makes me ill - I couldnt even begin to think about really doing it. By myself or not.
I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.