based on ur "fuck all confidense" and your "What's the point?" ideas, id say that you might be open to some changes. A successful life isnt just a life where u get alot of money and have a family. Biologically, a successful life would be reproducing and then dying, you've kept the species going, tahts all. But that isnt want most people strive for, just doing the bare minimum. It semes like u've moved around alot and found urself unacpetable in a bunch of places. My advice: try and find something u like, something u find rewarding. Most people find helping others rewarding. People sometimes dedicate their lives to the Peace Corps. im sure they dont make alot of money if any, but they live an adventursome life helping others, experincing new things. Find something ur good at, something u like and go with it. it doesnt have to be big, just go with it, do SOMETHING with ur life besides lying around thinking of everything u havent been able to do and hoping things get better.