I tried hanging myself once...never really works. Not recommended, but then again I am not exactly recommending you kill yourself.
Your mum will just be in shock, it isn't out of hate etc. She is probibly worrying about approaching the subject, as I am sure you are.
It is okay to lose control now and then, if not it would build up and destroy you completely.
best wishes, let me know how this goes
Sweet and hateful love,
becon me to hell,
place your blood-stained lips on me,
tell me all is well