Thread: Is he confused?
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Old March 19th, 2007, 05:19 PM  
Everglow
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Default Re: Is he confused?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dameon View Post
As someone who is experienced with this kind of situation listen to me when I say "Talk to him ALONE." This same incident happened to me last spring, except I was in your mate's position. He is scared. I know he is because he seems to have had the same reaction I did. He too was probably happy to get the chance to be intimate with you, he just might not have been ready. I remeber last year when this happened to me I went into shock when our kissing escalated into intercourse. I completely blanked out when we were "together." I kept thinking what would my parents say, what would our roomate (who was asleep - at the time- we were in the bathroom) say............I panicked, and later that morning as I was standing in the shower I felt like I had been raped, not necessarily by the traditional defintion, but I was crushed because I felt taken advantage of. I was soooo sure he would tell everyone since he was openly bi. But more importantly I was hurting inside beacuse I felt I had wasted my virginity on him. I wouldn't be able to give my first kiss to a person I truly loved. I just seized an opportunity because it presented itself. I was so happy to sleep with him, I didn't stop to ask myself the question SHOULD I? He had plenty of partners and I was just another notch on his pole.
I 'm not trying to make YOU feel bad you didn't hurt him or anything......he's just lost. He needs help, BELIVE ME he does more than you may realize.
I lost my best friend, who I'd been in love with for over 10 years, in 9th grade to suicide because he felt he couldn't take being gay. He e-mailed me the note. His brothers still hate me to this day because they know how I felt about him and think somehow I put the idea in his head that he was gay. It still KILLS me that he had/has no clue.
TRUST ME talk to him. Ask him about his feelings of what happened that night. He might just be scared to admit he is gay/bi and is confused as to what he is looking for. I think you as a friend can help him understand these things. Best of luck
I totally know that feeling too it makes me sad just to think of it...my situation happened with a guy at work...I was 16 (I turned 17 a few weeks ago)...and he was 28...yeah..talk about age difference...I felt violated afterward, but I consented...I hated myself for allowing it to happen. Embarrassingly enough, I cried the entire ride home. I knew I was a changed person after that experience...I was, as you said, just another notch on his pole. I gave up a part of me that I was not ready to give. When I thought things couldn't get worse, I realized that I had just cheated on my boyfriend with this guy. I felt my world collapse. I knew I had to be honest with him about it. I was terribly worried that I would lose the best thing that had ever happened to me. Before this incident, I already had depression, self hate and suicidal tendencies..but my boyfriend helped me so much...on the car ride home, I kept thinking how awefully I had just failed him. I was devastated. This has been part of the reason why I tried to kill myself...again. The other part was that I still couldn't accept myself for being bisexual. I thought that I was living against everything my parents and my religion believe. Well, a few days later I mustered up all the strength to tell my boyfriend about what happened at work. I was so ashamed and thought that he would never be able to forgive me. Suprisingly, when I told him, he was not angry. Yes, he was upset, but he was sorry and held me in his arms as I cried for what felt like forever. We are still together and I love my boyfriend more than ever. On our six month anniversary...well...that's for another time He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He is everything and more that I have ever hoped for in someone.

I know this is not my thread...but thank you Dameon for sharing your story...it is already helped me to understand so many things and continue my healing process. I hope that you can heal from your experience as well. If you ever want to talk...you can hit me up any time. pm, im, email...doesn't matter.

tjd154...Dameon gives great advise to your situation. I too believe that you should be careful about how you go about getting with this guy. My only suggestion now is for you to take it slow and think about how your guyfriend is feeling. Try to do things for him, because you sincerely care about him. lol..you can hit me up too...anytime

Everglow Has Left this place for a while...or for good. Time will tell.
It was a beautiful letdown
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out...
I don't belong here

Last edited by Everglow; March 19th, 2007 at 05:26 PM.
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