Thread: Is he confused?
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Old March 19th, 2007, 04:13 PM  
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Join Date: February 5, 2007
Location: eternal abyss
Age: 28
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Default Re: Is he confused?

Originally Posted by tjd154 View Post
Well I've been really ill from Wednesday so I haven't been at school. I felt he had been avoiding me for a bit so I gave him a Cadbury's Creme Egg on tuesday and got a smile from him . It doesn't sound like much but I always do this 'act' when I'm with him where I give him stuff and do whatever he says, he plays along with it too and bosses me about etc. Anyway, I was thinking about another sleepover possibly, also I was supposed to cycle to his house (which does take time since he lives about 8 or 9 miles away) but I've either been too ill or busy.

Back to the point, do you think another sleepover would be a good idea? He tends to be more open and honest when we're alone or just with a few close friends so I thought if there was any progress to be made, thats where I could do it. Any thoughts? Please write back!

As someone who is experienced with this kind of situation listen to me when I say "Talk to him ALONE." This same incident happened to me last spring, except I was in your mate's position. He is scared. I know he is because he seems to have had the same reaction I did. He too was probably happy to get the chance to be intimate with you, he just might not have been ready. I remeber last year when this happened to me I went into shock when our kissing escalated into intercourse. I completely blanked out when we were "together." I kept thinking what would my parents say, what would our roomate (who was asleep - at the time- we were in the bathroom) say............I panicked, and later that morning as I was standing in the shower I felt like I had been raped, not necessarily by the traditional defintion, but I was crushed because I felt taken advantage of. I was soooo sure he would tell everyone since he was openly bi. But more importantly I was hurting inside beacuse I felt I had wasted my virginity on him. I wouldn't be able to give my first kiss to a person I truly loved. I just seized an opportunity because it presented itself. I was so happy to sleep with him, I didn't stop to ask myself the question SHOULD I? He had plenty of partners and I was just another notch on his pole.
I 'm not trying to make YOU feel bad you didn't hurt him or anything......he's just lost. He needs help, BELIVE ME he does more than you may realize.
I lost my best friend, who I'd been in love with for over 10 years, in 9th grade to suicide because he felt he couldn't take being gay. He e-mailed me the note. His brothers still hate me to this day because they know how I felt about him and think somehow I put the idea in his head that he was gay. It still KILLS me that he had/has no clue.
TRUST ME talk to him. Ask him about his feelings of what happened that night. He might just be scared to admit he is gay/bi and is confused as to what he is looking for. I think you as a friend can help him understand these things. Best of luck

Last edited by Dameon; March 19th, 2007 at 04:24 PM.
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