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Old February 22nd, 2007, 07:04 PM  
Divide By Hero
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Name: Adam
Join Date: February 3, 2007
Location: Somewhere over a tainted rainbow.
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 25
Default Re: I Don't Know What To Do

I've gone to a psychiatrist before, but it didn't help, in public/with friends, i'm fun-loving and kind, but when i get pissed, or when i'm at home away from everyone else, I fall apart. I do exercise, i'm actually really thin, and I play almost every sport known to man. I express my hate through stories, songs, and poems, and it sort of helps, but still it doesn't completely help. Nobody at my school really hates me, and I don't get bullied very often, but there are some assholes at my school who like to piss of random people, and although I think they deserve it, if they ever go to far, I'm afraid I might end up killing them. I also get frustrated/pissed sometimes, because I seem invisible, no one pays attention to me. I think my self-esteem has suffered, and lately my grades have gone from straight-As to Bs and Cs, and I'm worried this could be a sign that I'm falling apart. I feel so stressed, and I've done everything, I don't know what to do. (BTW i'm really pressured to do well in sports and in school by my dad, and when I don't do well, we get into verbal arguments, which rarely turn physical, but ruin my self-esteem.) I hate that my dad shows apathy, toward making me feel like shit. My dad is very similar to me, at times he's fun-loving and kind, and at others he's like a psychomaniac. I just hope that I get this under control. I really wanna have a good, successful future.

I'm way too high (too high too high)
To be feeling this dry and low
I'm way too tired, I've tried
I'm fired up and ready to roll
Letís go
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