Re: I Don't Know What To Do
I've gone to a psychiatrist before, but it didn't help, in public/with friends, i'm fun-loving and kind, but when i get pissed, or when i'm at home away from everyone else, I fall apart. I do exercise, i'm actually really thin, and I play almost every sport known to man. I express my hate through stories, songs, and poems, and it sort of helps, but still it doesn't completely help. Nobody at my school really hates me, and I don't get bullied very often, but there are some assholes at my school who like to piss of random people, and although I think they deserve it, if they ever go to far, I'm afraid I might end up killing them. I also get frustrated/pissed sometimes, because I seem invisible, no one pays attention to me. I think my self-esteem has suffered, and lately my grades have gone from straight-As to Bs and Cs, and I'm worried this could be a sign that I'm falling apart. I feel so stressed, and I've done everything, I don't know what to do. (BTW i'm really pressured to do well in sports and in school by my dad, and when I don't do well, we get into verbal arguments, which rarely turn physical, but ruin my self-esteem.) I hate that my dad shows apathy, toward making me feel like shit. My dad is very similar to me, at times he's fun-loving and kind, and at others he's like a psychomaniac. I just hope that I get this under control. I really wanna have a good, successful future.
I'm way too high (too high too high)
To be feeling this dry and low
I'm way too tired, I've tried
I'm fired up and ready to roll