I've started cutting at the end of 2005 during my 11th grade after a break-up from a 11 month long abusive (sexual/emotional) relationship. At first it was weird to do it, since I would of never thought doing such a thing, but by spring of 2006, I couldn't help but do it everyday, even do it when I wanted to wake up in the morning
. So, during the summer, I didn't do anything at all to myself, but now, since I'm a Senior in highschool, the stress started to pile up more due to colleges, AP exams, and quarrels between me and my friends, especially leaving my longest group of friends after realizing how friends should truly act to each other (in which, they weren't helpful except for very few).
And because of the stress, I started to cut again, but with even worse objects as before like a sharp knife, or broken glass from a dead lightbulb. My current boyfriend of 6 months ran to my house after learning of me doing it to see if I was okay.
The other day, I did it again, and it pissed off a friend that has been close to me this year for 2 days, until today he started talking to me again and hugged me. And it made me realize last night that I have to STOP since it hurt my new friends that care for me deeply, so I joined here to also talk with other teenagers with the same problem. There's a girl I know I used to be close with, but she has problems with drugs, and also encouraged cutting/self-harm since she did it herself all the time, so I had to stop hanging out with her.
Last night, I've started a journal to write thoughts in. It may seem cheesy, but another close friend of mine told me that I should to help me calm me down when I feel like it.
I'm really not caring right now since a person from the old group I used to hang out with could see this, but what matters is that I'm going to start a new, and have this long habit of mine stop for good.
But I'll introduce myself; My name is Lindsay, and like I said, I'm a senior in highschool. I'm very talented in cartooning and singing, which I've performed in a national TV choir twice (TNT's Christmas in Washington). Hopefully when I get into college, I'll plan to major in social or clinical Psychology, take a year off and go to graduate school afterwards. I'm a very open-minded individual, and I'm also atheistic-existentialist, which I'm deep on my belief/philosophy.
So, hi everyone!