i cut again...
this morning i got a call from my best friends mom telling me she killed herself last night. i don't know what happend, or what sent her over the edge. for the past year or so i have been helping her and supporting her while she tried to overcome her eating disorder, anorexia, and i guess she was just done trying to live a life she didn't want to live. she overdosed on pills and slashed her wrists. i don't blame her for wanting to die, God knows i have wanted to for so long now, but it is going to be so much harder now that she's gone. i miss her so much. she was really the only reason i am still alive, i didn't want to disappoint her and let her down. so to get myself through today i cut myself. all over my arms and legs. i just didn't want to feel the pain in my heart anymore. i miss her so much. i want to die so bad but i have to stay strong for her mom, at least for the next couple of days. i wish i had seen this coming, i know the old cliche says you can't hold yoursself responsible, but i do. i was her best friend. i don't know what to do.