first of all let me say something. when it comes to girls, there is nothing i want more than to keep them happy. however, i have a problem where i am extremely overprotective. i have a hard time trusting people, especially girls. i like my girls to be exactly that - mine. but the thing is the problem seems to be growing. the last time was the other day. i had been linkin this girl for bout 3 days, we was drinking and shit, and she was with her mate. i had met up with her and her mate with my mate twice beforehand, but today we decided to bring another of our mates just to come along (hes not really the type to get girls anyway). anyway i noticed that he was talking quite a lot to the girl i like. i was getting very pent up and angry and my otheer friend definately noticed and pulled me to the side to see whats up, when i told him that i was thinking about smashing a bottle over my other friends head. i never wanted to put girls before my friends, but i just cant help it. also today i heard that she met up with my mate and some other boy that i dont really like that much anyway. i mean, i've met the girl 3 times - and i was thinking about bottling a friend i've had for years over her? what the fuck man.
give'us a bit of help.
also, this girl - the other day we was just talking and she had her head on my lap saying she had a headache and shit. i had my arm around her body with my hand on her arse, and it was just the 2 of us so i decided to try and make a move, and i slowly put my hand in between her legs. she didnt even hint she didnt want me to do it from the time it took me to get my hand from her arse around her leg and down in between her legs (doesnt seem long but it did at the time). anyway, just before i actually got to her trousers she got up and looked at me and went "do you want me to move my legs?" so i was like "thank fuck for that" in my head, and so she moved her legs a bit. then i started trying to get my hand down into her trousers, when she suddenly gets up and goes "i dont think so" and grabbed me so i walked with her back to the others. talk about mixed message, am i right? we carried on like nothing ever happened after that and were still talking and shit, and even met up again later that day (when the whole wanting-to-bottle-my-mate thing happend) and she seemed fine. i text her about half hour after she left to say to ring me in the morning and shit and she text back saying she would. she didnt, so i text her about 12ish asking her what she was up to, but no reply. so i text her again about 2 hours later saying "so i dont get a reply anymore?" in like a joking way, and then text her again about 8ish asking what she was up to. nothing. didnt talk to her after that until today when i was on the motorway and decided to ring her, she answered and seemed fine all over again, so i asked if she wanted to meet tommorow (valentines day
) and she said she did. that was the last i spoke to her.
i hope she isnt trying to fuck with me because that will just make me go mental.
i've been to anger management and counselling before to try and control my temper but it doesnt seem to work.
i also smoke green a lot. when im buzzin i feel a lot calmer, but once i feel sober again i get angry. also, booze can do one of 2 things to me - make me very angry, or very hyper and want to get girls and shit.
thanks for reading.