Re: controlling boyfriend or am i just a bitch?
If I am to be perfectly blunt and to the point I would say that he is the problem, not you. He is acting like your father, not your boyfriend. While he is doing this do you feel you can have the proper loving relationship a boyfriend and girlfriend should enjoy?
It is not reasonable to fly off he handle because your girlfriend visited a friend and hadn't told you straight away. Getting you to quit smoking and cutting and drinking in week is all well and good. But does he really have the right to exercise so much control over how you live your life (even if it is for the better)?
I think you should take what he says (when he says "ok its your disision but i just want you to") with a pinch of salt. If you do this then you can do whatever it is that you want to do without the following guilt. The only reason he says it like that is because it is the classic way to make someone feel guilty for doing something. With you feeling guilty he can control you further.
I am not saying to dump him, because you do love him and things can be rectified. Let him know in a gentle and reasonable manner that there are certain things (like smoking ciggies) that you want to do and express how you feel about being told you can't. Or something along these lines. As long as you are reasonable and calm then he should be accepting, if not entirely happy.
~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~
* Nothing in the world has ever been accomplished without passion *