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Old February 4th, 2007, 11:58 PM  
schrei jess
Awesome Poster
 
Join Date: October 5, 2006
Age: 25
Gender: Undisclosed
Default Feeling the urge once again

Okay so Ive been doing better. Ive made maybe two cuts since I last posted here, no big deal, left light purple scars and there was a lot of blood, but it was only two. One on my knee in a line with the previous three I had there, and one on my shoulder, which actually is just scabbed over, no scar.

Anyway, Im feeling the urge to do it again. Im having that sense of hopelessness that I always get. It feels stronger this time. Ive told many of you, but Im in love now, I pretty much know it for sure. But this feeling of love isnt nice like it should be, it's causing me a lot of pain. Im in love with a girl, my best friend to be exact. And I cant tell her how I feel, I know she doesnt feel it back. And all of the love I have for her just sits inside, tearing my heart apart. It's becoming too much to handle. I find myself imagining cutting her name on my leg, watching it bleed, and feeling satisfied. Im curious to try it, and see if it will make me feel any better. I know I must sound crazy, but Im getting desperate here, I wish I didnt love her so much, it's killing me. And I wouldnt mind having her name scarred upon my body forever...

Someone tell me how crazy Im being, I dont know what to do, Im literally going insane and the only thing I know to turn to is the blade!

I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.
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