Okay, please help, am I gay?
I know that no one can really answer this question for me, I have to find it out myself but what is your opinion on this situation?
Alright, there is this girl, her name is Sarah, we are best friends. Ive known her since 6th grade, we became really good friends in 8th grade, but we've been friends since 6th, Im in 9th grade now. Anyway, she seems like the only one who gets me, and accepts me for who I am - she doesnt think Im weird like a lot of people do, and we have like the same brain in our heads, like we think the same about a lot of stuff, have the same ideas and opinions. We'll the thing is, I think I love her, not just best friend/sisterly love, but I think Im actually in love with her. She is the best girl Ive ever known, she just really gets me, I cant say that for anyone else I know. I can see myself with her, going out, maybe kissing her and stuff, but I could not see myself doing that with any other girl, just her. Does this make me gay? The thing that makes all of this so confusing is that I still find guys attractive but I wouldnt want to have sex with a guy or get involved in dating with one, but I wouldnt with a girl either. See I thought I was asexual, as in I dont like girls or boys, but then I just cant help but feel in love with Sarah. Does that make sense? No, she doesnt know, and I dont plan on telling her, she is definetly straight and does not like girls like that, I will not risk telling her this and have it fuck up our friendship. If I had to choose between just being friends or nothing at all, I choose friends. And another big problem is is that she will be leaving my school next year, her father is racist and we go to a predominately black school so she is leaving, not moving, but she already lives an hour away from me and we just dont get to see each other that much, but I see her at school everyday and even then we dont get to talk much, but when we do - everything feels like perfect, she makes me feel so much better about things. She is like the only thing in my life that isnt completely fucked up, and I cant lose that. She promises me that we will stay in touch she said she doesnt want to lose me either, so Im going to try. If I lost her, I wont have anything! Ive lost two or three best friends throughout my life, and I dont want to add her to the list.
Please someone help, I just dont know what to do/think about this.
I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.