Thread: 30.1.07
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Old January 30th, 2007, 03:05 PM  
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bbychop's Forum Picture
Join Date: July 10, 2005
Location: 4one7
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Default 30.1.07

When love becomes disastrous and painful, you leave. Without even speaking a word and you let it pass through the grapevine and without even considering how I would feel. But since when do you ever think about what I feel? You expect too much.

I wonder if I have really lost you this time. I wonder if you are even torn up about any of this. You rip and tear my heart to bits and all you seem to do is tell me "I will always love you" but will you always love me? Do you mean it when you say that? "Yes." "LIAR."

If you love me, why do you despise me? Why do you treat me like everything that has ever happened is meaningless? I drink my pain away. I take the pills to ease my pain away. Do you ever seem to notice? Do you ever seem to care? Sometimes you are too selfish.

It is too late for you to treat me like the other girls… so easy and condescending.

I cannot look at you anymore. I see a new person every time.

Why can't you be the boy you were back in the park when you held me at the top of the biggest hill and told me you would love me forever? Why can't you be the boy that called me on the phone just to tell me you love me anymore? Why can't you be the boy who looked at me and promised me forever? It was too much to ask, especially when you felt it was too late.

Something pulls me back to you. Something big and strong. Something that makes me want to ask "Why?" There is never an answer to why. Maybe we are meant to be together. Maybe everything is just a test.

Sometimes I wish I could just escape this. If I were to try, you would do everything to keep me here. Everything to keep me from leaving you. If you did not want me to leave, then why do you go? Why do you leave me in the dark?

"Love's an excuse to get hurt. Do you like to hurt?" "I DO! I DO!" "Then hurt me."

lil' ashes
i don't need pills
when i have a drug like you.

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