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Old January 29th, 2007, 09:39 PM  
fdsgfg55465's Forum Picture
Join Date: October 18, 2005
Location: florida, usa
Default i wrote this today

Ive been depressed since i read this book called finding Alaska and it is just like my life, i know how it would of felt to be them if it was real since i lost my best friend that's why it got me depressed but I'm depressed generally about my life so here goes

ever day i wake up, i wonder about my life, about my future and what i will become. sometimes i feel like i am being held back by an invisible force and that while i stay behind everyone around me advances until i am all alone, wandering along, living alone, alone with no friends. sometimes i can not wait for the future. i want to see what my life will be like. i feel like everything i do is going to keep me behind everyone else, i see other people just like me succeeding from the same things i do while i make no progress. some times i feel like i need to get away from my lifestyle, my friends and me in order to see what i really want in life. but what is the point of life but happiness? what i do that makes me happy seems so different from other people. maybe that's why i am being held back by that force that i can not name. i feel that i will be alone forever because of the choices i make today. if ever you awake into emptiness you awake into my future, or so i think.

Ive never really wrote anything but this i wrote and i wanted to share it, i know whats wrong with me anyways, i'm afraid of failing and being different and afraid to separate from other that bring me happiness, sometimes i feel like if we split (like after high school or something) i will never be happy again and i will fail to make new friends. i don't even know why i feel like this, I'm always happy. the only thing that keeps me happy is prussing my goals but i think that's the definition of happiness, i really want to be a psychologist, i know i can fix most peoples problems but sometimes not my own, i want to go to Miami university and live on Miami beach with my best friend and we are both getting motorcycles, i don't know why i think i'm going to fail when i have my future planed out. i guess i had a case of the Mondays today

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