Depression = sickness.
Ever since i started high school i have been depressed. I am now entering my fourth year at the school and im not sure whether i can take it any more. So many things are expected of me throughout the year, and i just cannot stop thinking about them all. I have 1 week left of holidays and im worried sick. Seriously, i cant sleep, im always feeling sick, and i hate leaving the house. I am always nervous, going to school, going to shops, going out with friends. I think i dont like thinking about other people thinking about me. Every morning i will get out of bed and be nervous all up untill i get to school.
I always rely on other people to help me through my school life. I always need someone to help me with something. If i dont know where to go, i need someone to help me. (I guess im not to independant, because i cant find out for myself). I am also not too great at sport of fitness or any of that, and going to a sporty school probably doesnt help. I always have hiking camps, swimming/running/athletics and basically everything else sporty carnivals and such on, and i guess i just cant cope.
I have tried cutting, and it did make me feel better at the time, and then i felt better the next few days, and then i never cut again.
What can i do? I get nervous going to counsellors and stuff, but i guess its my only choice. If i try and tell my parents, i think that they will just ignore me, or just believe i am making stuff up. Plz help! Thanks everyone.