I hope all goes well with your therapist. I'm happy that you're seeking help. You're at least trying. See, last night you wanted to do it, but look here you are now alive. You made through it. It's been 16 hours since you made the thread. You should be proud. Basically what I'm trying to say is that what you're experiencing is bearable. To go that long after feeling how you were last night means you are strong. If you really wanted to die you would have found a way. Somewhere in the back of your mind you wanted to stay alive. Listen to it.