ok i slipped.
its been a while since i quit cutting,
and i dont know.
i STILL havnt found another way to cope, at least a healthy one.
i have no hobbies or interests,
this past month for the first time i acually felt like i really didnt want to die, and no matter how upset i got i didnt want to cut or anything,
but now i dont know,
then latley its all been out of control in my head
in a way i miss being insanly depressed and locking myself off from the world, going on drug and cuttign binges.
so i cut again because all this stuff has jsut been building inside of me.
but only 3 times.
2 on my stomach, VERY light didnt even bleed,
and one on my arm, jsut below the wrist, it bled, and it felt reallllllllly good:S
i did it on my right arm so that if my boyfriend sees and asks me if i cut i can say no it was something eles becuase i'm right handed and dont cut on my right arm.
i dont know what to do becuase i cant tlak to my counceller becuase she already tried to addmit me to the hospital, and i wasnt even opening up, so if i tell her i miss cutting [i'll never tell her i cut again] she'll try to do that again.
i dont know what to do
that one cut on my arm felt GREAT.