ugh i jusst came back from a family dinner [my brothers moving out of the country, its his last night]
and everytime the subject of drugs or alchohol came up they'd say something like "Tegans you not showing very much change" or when my step mom and sister were talking about my sisters boyfriends drugs problem, shes like "yea some people cant change unless they want to change, although your not doing anything to help yourself tegan"
i just got up and went to the washroom and cried.
ok so i'm not quitting weed yet,
but i quit everything eles.
even extacy which i'm so mentally addicted too.
and i quit drinking, on my own, none of my friends are and i decided to stay quitting even after courts over with [no one eles is doing that]
and it is SOOOOOO hard to quit, i want a drink SO bad right now, its the only thing that helps me forget completly, and no one is supporting me.
i mean some people i knwop are like "yea right you wont last long" and my family is totally not helping me [although they know nothing about my life, they have no clue about the other drugs or my addictions or how much i used to drink] so i cant tlak to them about it. it hurt my feeling sso much when she said that i wasnt changing, when i'm doing this ALL by myself, even with out my therapist becuase i started avioiding her for a month after something happened.
so i'm doing this all by myself and it is just TOO much,
i want a drink so bad.
and what am i even doing this for? the people i'm doing for dont even ask me how i'm doing, all they do is doubt.
i'm so stressed.