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Old March 13th, 2011, 06:39 PM  
canyon's Forum Picture
Join Date: February 5, 2011
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Originally Posted by Sith Lord 13 View Post
What do you tell your girlfriend with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit her.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Let the b!tch do the ironing in the dark.

What do a woman and a condom have in common?
They're both either in your wallet or on your d!ck.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What's the best thing about a blow job?
Ten minutes silence.

What's a man's idea of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

How can you tell which is the head nurse?
The one with the dirty knees.

Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her t!ts went.

Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Ahahaha, those are really good

If your day's been shitty, watch Marcel The Shell with Shoes On. Always makes me feel good about myself.
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