Re: please read.
First of all, i think you should read my thread-"Addiction/Alcoholism is a disease with a cure". You obviously have addictive behavior, you use substances to cope with your emotions. The only way you can do this without getting in trouble or going insane, is diverting that energy into something active. Maybe go workout at the gym, or anything to help pass the time by. Sitting there and thinking about how much it sucks is only gonna make you tempted to use. Are there any drug free activities you enjoy doing?