I can relate... you can't even imagine how hard it was for me... I had a life on Venezuela... I had tons of friends, and I was popular... everyone knew me, and I was cool. But then it came the moment I had to leave.. I knew it was the right thing to do... I didn't want to live in that shit anymore... living in Venezuela is a joke!! so ridiculous. In venezuela, I already had a computer addiction... if I couldn't fucking go out... and I was only 11!
So I went to the states... I can't describe how amazing it was... but still, my aunt wouldn't let me out... my computer addiction got even bigger... I was almost 24/7 on the computer... at least it was always on, and I could wake up late at night and use it... it was always there for me... yeah I still had friends at school, awsome friends!! they always helped me, and supported me... was it passing some test, asking a girl out, giving me advice... they were just awsome and I couldn't thank them more... I left america being 12 and I like I said I had a huge computer addiction.
But then it got the moment I had to come.. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do... I mean I almost had a life, and I was popular again, and I loved america like if I was borned there.. I really loved it... but I also wanted my family that I had left, so I went to italy... here I had a 3 month summer... awsome!! I wasn't much on the computer, because I would normally go out with my parents and stuff... I still didn't have any friends, and I didn't even know italian. So when I got to school I got pretty popular... just by the fact of being American impressed many people... still more knowing spanish, english and now learning italian... I was rocking the school... and people I didn't even knew would come up to me, and talk to me and stuff... it was pretty weird... but I still wouldn't trust many people... I mean, I destryed 2 lifes already, to start another one... I wasn't sure anymore... thats why my computer addiction got even bigger... I could stay 25 hours a day on the computer (yes, I said 25). I didn't want to go out.. the funny thing is that now I have more liberty than I could ever imagine... I have my own bike and whenever I want to go out I just take it, and go out.. but do you think I ever do it?? NO! why?? because I'm at the computer... why?? Because I have an addiction. Sometimes my friends call me to go out... I just tell them that I don't want to or invent silly reasons for not going... I dunno.. I still don't even feel that I have something as a 'best friend'... I don't even know if I can call the people that I know for longer 'friends'. I'm confused now, and it sucks... I don't trust anyone, to even tell them that I did this or that.. I sometimes feel ignored by them.. maybe thats why.. but thats just another problem...
The whole point of that, was just to tell you that you are not alone Paul... I'm here, and like people have said here they are like that too... don't think you're a freak...
I'm also starting to try (well, sorta...) going out a little more... since I now have magic and I would say that I'm pretty good at it, I wanna start street magic!! Find a hobby that involves going out (not magic please, because you would be going out a little LATER)... there are many stuff you can do!!
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
~Harrie's proud brother!~