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Old January 1st, 2011, 02:01 AM   #1
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Name: Lexi
Join Date: November 22, 2010
Location: Texas
Gender: Female
Default Clutter, Panic-Attacks, OCD?

Around mid-summer I began to have panic-attacks. My fathers side of the family seems to be known for these (Great -_-). My older sister has them, my aunt, and even the sister whom I have never met (She is in her thirties. Long story) and my father. Around this time I began to realize I was unable to enter my bedroom except to sleep because of the "mess" that seemed to clutter itself on the floor. When I would enter the room it would cause me to freak out, and at some point I ended up actually breaking down crying in the middle of my floor because I felt like my room was swallowing me. I have had nightmares like this, that I was being swallowed by an overabundance of items, but never had I actually had the dreams play out in real life until this time. I have since found myself unable to be in an area that was even barely cluttered without feeling stressed by it, a bit scared, getting very angry, or/and needing to clean it (in a fit of anger).
I have always been a bit of what I call superstitious but what some are starting to tell me could actually be OCD. I own a necklace in which I can only wear if the rope end is facing up in fear that it will cause horrible things to happen. Around the time I started having panic-attacks and being unable to stand in clutter I began to be unable to use any body wash but the one I now use for fear it would cause horrible things to happen. There are countless things I CAN NOT DO because I believe they will cause tragedy some how. Even numbers scare me because I fear they will cause problems, leaving me to use odd numbers when the choice is mine. As long as the last digit in the number is odd I'm good. And I sleep walk...Which is something that should have stopped when I was a pre-teen (as most doctors will tell you) but has continued well from my single-digit childhood days well into my late teenage years.

But the point is, this disrupts my life. I'm not even sure if it is worth mentioning though. I'm posting this in OCD because the main thing does point to OCD. I'm not even sure what to do. No one really listens. They laugh it off or call it hormones...


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