Re: an Untitled story by my friend Catie and I
van gouge was the ear guy.
Just to make a suggestion about the overall writing style: Not to critisize, but i think the novel/story would be a lot easier to follow if 2 things happened:
A) ditch the storytelling. Sure, the people (ro and shamus) can narrate, and even take turns. There is actually a book written like that, called Revolution Starter, or something, a new release, you read 8 pages of one persons perspective, then flip the book around, and upside down, and read 8 pages pf the other persons. But all these personal touches, like the spelling Bee, and the details not related to the actual story get confusing and monotonous.
B) Add some more sensory details, whether through more complex nouns and verbs, or through similes and metaphors. It makes for a better, more flowing and less confusing read.