I just spent an hour reading your post... you can do it
Just remember at any cost that you haven't done anything wrong! You aren't letting anyone down... it's not your fault if your life is ewwky!! Just remember that there is still people who love you, and that if something happens they will all be there to help you and support you... just don't let yourself down, and stay cheered up
Just try to have a life as normal as you can.. try getting away of everything that stresses you, and I'm sure you'll be fine
Keep it up, and take care!
Odi et amo. Quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
~Harrie's proud brother!~