Thread: its hard for me
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Old November 1st, 2006, 10:34 AM  
dying lullaby
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Join Date: April 6, 2004
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Default its hard for me

its so hard for me to keep up this front of being able ot keep it all together. lately for no reason at all ive been cutting again. the urge is so strong. noone knoww that i'm doing it again, but i know my best friend will find out eventually, she always finds out. anyway, i just want to talk to someone about it...i can't even bring myself to tell my therapist because i am so ashamed...i mean im supposed to be the strong one who has it all together (finally) and doing this is just back tracking to the days befor i even started to see a therapist or go to the hospital or anything.
i feel bad because i am lieing to all of my friends and family and doctors when they ask me if im still doing well. i cant tell them that ive let them down. ive let myself down.

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She can\'t remember a time when she felt needed
If love was red then she was color blind
***
leave me be, while i rot and die, in the corner, under the blanket that you gave me when you lied and told me i ment something
~Bri
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