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Old December 16th, 2010, 12:27 AM  
S̈́ea Wolf Levḯathaחי
deadpie's Forum Picture
Name: Damien Ark
Join Date: August 27, 2009
Location: IA
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night.
It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.
I watched my girlfriend give birth the other day, it was the happiest day of my life.
After seeing that, I know she's capable of taking at least one fist.
Hermaphrodites are cocky cunts.
My girlfriend came round unexpectedly the other day.
That's the last time I buy Tesco Value chloroform.
My wife found loads of animal porn on our computer but I think I got away with it.
I blamed the dog.
Auto-erotic asphyxiation, it's breathtakingly good.
I helped an old lady cross the road into a shop today.
Pity it was through the window, with my landrover.
I killed my girlfriend in a pub.
In my defense, she did say she wanted to get "completely hammered".

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