Re: um.. idk what to put here..
Well, you cant be helped if you dont want to be helped. That's one thing Ive learned through my three year fight with depression. My emotions and views of the world have gotten so bad, that I dont think things could get any worse. Is that the way you feel?
Now reading your first sentence, are you asking for a painless way to commit suicide? If you are, you will not get an answer. No one here will help you kill yourself, if you are that desperate - you can figure it out on your own.
And yes there are ways to make life better. But you have to want to get better. Now not everyone can afford it, but, it's worth a try if you can. Get a therapist. A lot of people think they are full of shit - but they can help. Ive had one ever since I first got depressed in the 6th grade. She has a lot of great advice but, Im so far into this shit that I dont think I can get out. And I guess Im a lost cause, because Im so closed shut that I cant figure myself out anymore.
You can get depression meds from your therapist. They can help you a lot, but they have been known to make people feel worse. I guess it just depends on what kind you take. My therapist put me on zoloft when I first started seeing her, from there they upped my dose until I was up to 150 mg. Then she realized it wasnt working, and I was put on welbutrin along with the zoloft. Not working. Now Im on zoloft, welbutrin, and efexxor (sp?), and Im going off the zoloft slowly. So far, nothing, no results. But thats just me, meds can help a lot of people, maybe you. You wont know till you try.
So talk to your parents about getting a therapist, and once you get one, talk to he/she about getting meds. If you cant afford either, try seeing a school counselor. Just be careful what you tell them, because if you say anything about cutting, self harm, or suicide - I think they are required to tell your parents. Atleast, my school counselor told my mother. I never saw him since, made my life worse.
Anyway, hope that helped some. PM me if you want to talk. Ive got IM also.
I DO NOT GO ON HERE ANYMORE. I HAVE LEFT THIS PLACE FOR GOOD AND DON'T INTEND ON COMING BACK. PLEASE DON'T FRIEND REQUEST ME, PRIVATE MESSAGE ME, OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I WILL NEVER SEE IT AND YOU'LL NEVER GET A RESPONSE. THANK YOU.