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Old October 23rd, 2006, 10:06 AM  
~Cookie~
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Join Date: September 23, 2006
Location: Washington
Default Re: Collapsing under the weight of friends

It takes alot for me to open up to someone.I have major trust issues and I don't like people feeling sorry for me or looking down on me for what I feel.The last time I told someone what I was feeling I ended up in the hospital for 3 1/2 weeks.They almost made me stay for 6 months but I lied my ass off to get out of there.((Stupid as it may seem it was the right thing.Just being in there made everything worse.I barley cut when I went in and when I came out it cut atleast once a day and deeply)).There are afew people I've tryed talking to but they just get angry cause they don't understand how it feels to feel...so low?I don't know how to put it.At this point I feel like I just wanna walk threw school with my music turned up so I don't have to listen to anybody,Eather that or I wanna stay home and never leave my bed.I know neather of those are the answer but thats what I want to do.At the same time I know I can't because my friends depend on me.The fact that Im eating more doesn't help matters any.The sleeping thing Im fine with I don't have anything better to do anyways.But being over weight as it is.The fact that Im eating more only makes me more depressed.I've tryed to stop but I can't.I havent cut in awile and now it feels like everything is building up on me.I have no relise anymore and one of these days Im gonna snap.Wether it be on myself or someone else I don't know.
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