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Old December 1st, 2010, 09:55 PM  
deadpie
S̈́ea Wolf Levḯathaחי
 
deadpie's Forum Picture
 
Name: Damien Ark
Join Date: August 27, 2009
Location: IA
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

HAVE I OFFENDED SOMEONE? My work here is accomplished. Time to be ten times as offensive just to piss people off!

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Be nice to your kids.
You never know, you might need a kidney one day.

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If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of johnson's no more tears, would it create beautiful irony?

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Want to fight poverty? Kick a hobo.

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Why did the Israeli Commando cross the road?
To shoot the baby with the rattle about to open fire.

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I hate that feeling you get after having sex. You know the one, where you think to yourself "Now I have to find that fucking shovel and start digging a hole"

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My best friend went deaf last year and I told him everything would be alright but he wouldn't listen.

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I have C.D.O.
It's like O.C.D. but all the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be.

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My pregnant wife said she wanted something special that would last a lifetime for her birthday... So i threw her down the stairs.

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I committed the perfect crime: I stopped paying my psychiatrist.
He took me to court and I pleaded insanity.

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A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Tourette's.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you cunt."
The man says, "Yep, that's the one."

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The best thing about having diarrhoea is you can shit in the shower as well.

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