Re: I dont even recognize myself anymore, WHO AM I?
First, don't kill yourself. Think about everyone around you, and how they would react if you were to suicide. Prolly a lot of people would be sad, and if you do it, it's the last stop, you can't come back. You can't say "oh I'll just return to life" afterwards.
Don't worry about your size. I've seen a girl that's around 6'4, prolly heavier than I am, huge feet, and she was laughing and having fun. Even if you're tall, why couldn't you enjoy it? I personally think looking at everyone from high heights is fun. Plus it allows you to do tons of things other girls can't do because they're too short. 140 is an okay weight, especially for your height.
But if you really want to lose some, there's better and less risky ways to lose weight than vomiting it all out. Maybe you could play basketball, volleyball, badminton or something of that sort? Your height would be a big advantage in these sports, and they're great activities. You'll lose weight, and will be in better shape. Sport also sends some hormones in your brain which have anti-depressing properties. Plus it will make you meet new people, go around a little, think about other stuff, fresh air? If you become good at them, it'll be 10x as fun, you'll have the impression you did something that benefits a lot of people. The day I started running was the day I stopped being extremely depressed. Now I have bouts once in a while like everyone else, but they're manageable.
If you don't feel like trying team sports, I heavily recommend running. Buy a good pair of kickers, find a track, and let yourself go. Become one with the wind? It's a real kick, even if you run for long, long distances. I do road/track running myself, but if you live in a wooden area, try cross-country or just run around in the forest. It's a great relief to see nature owning mankind, and it helps with stress and depression too, there's some BEAUTIFUL areas in forests that not much people know about. The best times for running are morning and evening, less people, and the setting is prettier.
As for the "Yaoi" thing, do not worry about it. Lots and lots of guys watch lesbian stuff, and they're not all gay. Besides, don't we all have a little gay side?
I never liked seeing psies much. I was confused when I entered their offices, and got out of there even more confused than I already was.
Anyway, try what I suggested, and get me back on it. You'll see, sport fixes more stuff than people think.
Last edited by Jean Poutine; October 7th, 2006 at 04:53 PM.