Re: I dont even recognize myself anymore, WHO AM I?
You're right you have a lot of problems but mostly its caused by your depression.
Its works like this. If you keep doing the same things you are doing now you can only expect the same results in the future. So you have to change to get better. The hard part is deciding who or what you want to be. Once you do that all you have to do is start living that life.
I know its not as easy as it sounds but you have to make that jump or you'll be depressed your whole life.
You say you don't care for your life so take a risk and do something wild like take up skydiving, bungy jumping, or whatever most of your friends are to scared to do. It will change the way people see you. Just take up something that defines your new life.
I'm always here to talk if you need me.