Dammit! I Miss You So Much!!!
God dammit heather!! im gonna be straight forward!! I MISS YOU!!!!! I WANT YOU BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING INSANE!!!! ARRGG!!!
I realize what I've been doing. I've been trying to replace you with people I thought were better than you!! I am wrong!! I won't ever be able to forget how much we loved each other!
I know your reading this because I told you to. And I'm sorry. i want you back in my arms with me. I hate it when I lose something and regret losing it in the first place. Regret losing you!
I can't date you. We can't. It's just not possible. We won't see each other. I wont be able to hold you the way I did. You were the only real girlfriend I have ever had in my entire life. how come we only realize what we have when we lose it. Why?
Heather, I know what happened between us. I know it was wrong to end so intensly. But It had to. And trust me, if you were in Colorado right now, I would have never EVER dumped you. If you never moved, I would have never ever moved.
The first time I really got to know you, I fell in love with you. I know I did. I know that i miss you and that's all that matters. I felt I had to tell this to you because I keep feeling so....alone. I keep looking for someone to date now, but I won't find anyone I like as much as i did u. That is what I tell myself. I look at a girl that there is a possibility to date and I say "she won't be as good as heather matt, you know that right?"
Heather truth is, I will always have a spot for you. I will always have a great spot for you. Long story short: there are so many things in this life that i miss and that I want back, but I know i cant have back because of conditions that are almost impossible to fix, and you are one of those things that I have wanted back for a while.
So many things that need to be fixed in order to get you back. so many things that I can't fix. So many things I want to fix, but I know I can't because of what has happened in the past to ruin things.
i remember so many things in this life. to many. One of which...the retreat...and the fire. Heather you were right. That night next to the fire was one of the things I loved the most. One of the things that I just want to bring back the most. It was after I dumped you I know, but that night i still felt attached.
when i went back into my dorm I remember one guy asking me "hey, you, uhh...Matt...that girl...that was sitting on your sholders...the small one...is she your girlfriend?"
I looked at him and paused and stared at the ground. Then in a real low voice I said "no." and that is when i realized what I lost and why. The next day I told sarah that I still liked u. And Sarah just goes "Don't start this again, Matt. Don't. It's just going to end up in more pain and agony that you need."
I had you on my mind all weekend after I dumped you, except at the fire when i felt we were still attached. I remember falling asleep with one tear streaming down my face. That's it. And then the retreat ended, and I saw you nine months later on the first day of Pirates of the Caribbean, and i still felt something in me. Still.
Our Love will Never Die...
I Am Ghost
What we do in life echoes in eternity.