Join Date: February 22, 2006
Re: The Dumaniz (name may change)
I jumped a little, which ended with the refrigerator holding up an inch off the ground.
Knock knock knock.
So now today, I have exposed my secret power, got stuck to the fridge, sucked all the refrigerator magnets down my ass, and now someone is at the door.
â€œWHO IS IT!?â€ I screamed.
â€œRowena, idiot! Let me in right now! Itâ€™s flippinâ€™ FREEZING out here!â€
Oh great, I thought. Now the person interrupting my already incredibly awkward moment is Rowena goddamn Circe!!
â€œGo away! Some of us have lives you know! Go find your own!â€ I holler.
There was a pause. A very loud pause. Suddenly, I heard the doorknob twist and the front door turn open.
â€œGET OUTTA MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!! THIS IS BREAKING AND-â€œ but then Ro was standing in the kitchen doorway. Her expression was unreadable at first, then it grew shocked. She slowly backed away, and she tore out of my house, leaving the front door open.
â€œThanks a lot!â€ I yell.
That was one of the weirdest things I had ever seen. Ever. Had he glued himself to his refrigerator? That dork! I always knew boys wereâ€¦different, but I didn't think it was possible to be that stupid. So I ran. I obviously could tell him.
I wrenched the door to the front of my house open and ran inside to go look in a mirror. Yesâ€¦they were still there! I HAD WINGS! The opened themselves in excitement, and in the process, knocked over a vase, but I didn't care. I had them. I hadn't a care in the world.
But why hadn't Shamus said anything. Hadn't he seen them? How could you NOT see them? THEY WERE EACH 7 AND A HALF FEET LONG! I had to go back. Besides, he might need help getting his sorry butt of his refrigerator door. I attempted to put on a sweater, but I had no clue how to get it on over my wings (it sounds so darn COOL saying that), so I left in my short sleeve shirt. I didn't care about warmth.
I knocked on the door again and walked in to his kitchen without waiting for a reply. I had been here millions of times (My parents and his parents are likeâ€¦best friends. I know, right!) but when I stepped into the kitchen and saw him struggling to "peel himself off the fridge," I literally fell over, laughing.
"Youâ€¦IDIOT!" I said between gasps, "Did youâ€¦superglue yourâ€¦butt to theâ€¦door?!"
"Ro, just shut up! You're really not helping!" he said through clenched teeth, trying to hold back his anger. I only laughed harder.
"You gluedâ€¦yourself--," at this point, I could no longer breathe, so I stopped talking.
Shamus' face turned a deep shade of red as he struggled again.
"I DIDN'T GLUE MYSELF TO THE DOOR, RO!" he shouted. And again, I laughed. It was just too funny! It wasn't often that your idiot neighbor decided to experiment with the Gorilla Glueâ€¦
What do you do when youâ€™re stuck to the fridge? Well, you pretty much just hang there. Also if you have refrigerator magnets in your shirt and down your pants, it would probably be wise to deal with that. I only managed to get the words â€œjuiceâ€ and â€œchocolateâ€ out of my Nether Region when there was a knock on the door again. I only had to tell by the way the person walked that it was Ro. The quick, self-assured stride. She took a look at me in the doorway and started laughing dangerously hard. I grew red as a strawberry, fuming, hanging on the cold, hard fridge door.
â€œYouâ€¦IDIOT!â€ she gasped. â€œDid youâ€¦superglue yourâ€¦butt to theâ€¦door?â€
â€œRo, just shut up! Youâ€™re really not helping!â€ I said in a low, muffled voice. It was hard enough that I knew I was becoming a freak.
â€œYou gluedâ€¦â€ she continued, giggling madly. I hated her so much at this moment. I felt the anger tingle my feet, pound on my skull-
â€œI DIDNâ€™T GLUE MYSELF TO THE DOOR, RO!â€ I exploded. Then I felt hot, but all the hairs on the back of my head and on my arms stood up like it was freezing. Then, I started to slip down. â€œOh, man, heâ€™s starting to come off,â€ Rowena said, â€œbetter use more superglue next time, Shamus.â€ Like the magnetism switch was thrown back to â€œOffâ€, I fell face-first. Rowena didnâ€™t even laugh, for when I hit the ground, little Magnetic Poetry words were zipping out of my clothing like flies, landing in random places on the fridge.
â€œOooohhh,â€ Ro exhaled. I pushed myself up. All of the words inched upwards. I let myself fall. They slid down a few centimeters.
Now someone knew, and at the same time, things started getting weirder. Oh joy.
â€œMy godâ€¦you're likeâ€¦a bigâ€¦MAGNET! IT WAS YOU!" I accused, pointing a steady finger at him.
"You invited me into your house! I KNEW IT WAS WEIRD! Even for you, it was incredibly weird. You brought me in here, and made me a freak, but it backfired on you, and you're a freak too!" I rambled. Ok, so that wasn't likely to happen.
"What else can you do?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.
"How should I know? Besides, you're not a freak! Well, you are, but that's not recent. What's so different about you?" he said angrily. My mouth almost gaped open in surprise. He could see the wings-my wings.
"You mean you can't see them? Are you blind?" I asked, making sure I had enough room to spread my wings and opened them.
"See what? God, you're so wei-Oh my god," he stopped in mid-sentence, looking awestruck.
"WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM!?! They justâ€¦just appeared! First they were there, then they weren't! YOU'VE INTOXICATED ME!" he accused.
"Oh, shut up. But aren't they marvelous!? And I can fly with them! You should'a seen it! I fell off the roof, and I was FLYING! But what do you care?"
â€œI donâ€™t care at all, thank you very much!â€ I continued. I pushed myself off the floor. The magnets didnâ€™t move at all this time.
â€œThis is all your fault, you know, that Iâ€™m like this!â€ I said.
â€œME!??â€ she exclaimed. â€œYouâ€™re the one who invited me into your house, you must have had all this planned!â€
â€œIf you hadnâ€™t had to faint, then I wouldnâ€™t have had to be struck by that wonky lightning!â€
â€œOh, thatâ€™s rich.â€ She was exhaling heavily, looking at the kitchen sink. Her lips were pursed shut tightly. â€œLook, us arguing over whose fault it is isnâ€™t gonna help.â€
I snorted loudly. First she accuses me of being at fault, and then she has the nerve to tell me to night argue. She started it, I pout childishly.
â€œSo what will help?â€ I already knew the answer. Nothing.
â€œMaybe we should go see a doctor.â€
â€œYeah, and then we can be sent to Area 51! And the tabloids will finally have something true to print! And everyone will gawk at pictures of Magnet Boy and Bird Girl! Very good, Ro.â€
She scoffed at me and looked down. She said nothing for ten seconds.
â€œOkay, fine, Shamus, we wonâ€™t tell anyone.â€
â€œGood,â€ I replied stubbornly.
"But what else are we going to do? I mean, what if we were given these powers for a reason!" I suggested excitedly.
"Oh yeah," he replied sarcastically. "Is Uncle Ben gonna die, too? What about Aunt Mae? Ooh, and let me guessâ€¦we'll die if we come in close contact to kryptonite, right?"
"You have such a small imagination. Now I see why you're such a jerk," I sniffed. "You never know though. How do we know Spiderman isn't real?"
"Grow up," he remarked. I glared at him.
"YOU'RE NOT WORKING WITH ME!! You could at least try and care that you've got magnets attracted to your fat ass." It's not often I use profanity, but if I do, it's usually around Shamus. He just makes meâ€¦SO mad sometimes.
"Of course I care, Ro. I'm not exactly accustomed to this! And you're not one to be talking about Fat Asses," he snickered, just like the little child he was. Thatâ€¦CREEP! I couldn't hold off any longer. I stormed closer to him and slapped him across the face.
"Listen to me. You're as screwed as I am right now, but one thing you're going to learn very soon is that you don't want to get me mad. Ever," I said, dangerously soft. "You are not the best person in the world. You never were, and you never will be. You're nothing butâ€¦an immatureâ€¦littleâ€¦"
There, I stopped. There was no word ever created that could describe him. Sometimes, I just wishedâ€¦I just wished he'd stop breathing.
"Roâ€¦Ro!" He gasped, as though reading my mind. His mouth was open and he was clutching his throat, as though he was choking.
"Oh!" I said, releasing the pleasing image of his lifeless body from my mind. As nice as it looked in thought, it was scary in real life.
"What the hell are you doing to me?" he asked, standing up.
"Umâ€¦I dunno. It's kinda like with the blindfoldsâ€¦and then today, I made Kim break out in acneâ€¦" I explained sheepishly.
"Kim? The hot one?"