I didn't read the whole thing, just the first half, but you kinda sound like me. I have friends and i socialise and what not but i like to be by myself a lot. Try to find a hobby. I prefer electronics and building things. Theres a satisfaction to making something out of nothing. Maybe you can learn about cars and get an old crappy one for cheap and build it up. All kinds of hobby possibilities.
All is fair in love and war.