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-   -   In love with someone else (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2043212)

lallu February 8th, 2018 11:54 AM

In love with someone else
 
Hi everyone. My story is pretty long but I will try to be short.

So before 2 years I was deeply in love with one classmate who rejected me.before rejecting me we were really good friends and everyone was thinking that he likes me.So he broke my heart, i was suffering but finally i could move on and find a boy who loves me.But now I am in love again with my old crush.Idk how happened.

The truth is that this classmate went through a lot.His mum died before several months, he feels lonely and depressed and before 2 months we started like chatting again and being friends.He even apologised for his behavior and we got closed again.

Now I am in the same situation like before, the others around me think that he is in love with me, I am in love with him but in the same time I know that somehow it's probably impossible. I try to help him but I see that he doesn't even want help.He shares with me his deepest thoughs and dreams.We chat a lot but somehow I am so scared to get close to him again.I feel like trash for being in love with him again.

ska8er February 8th, 2018 01:05 PM

Re: In love with someone else
 
Well don't feel like trash-u cant help
it that u r falling in love again. I would
give him a second chance and since he
is having personal probs now b there for
him.

jamie_n5 February 8th, 2018 08:49 PM

Re: In love with someone else
 
Those things happen. Hell some divorced couples get back together again. If you love him and feel that he loves you too then go for it. You don't have anything to feel bad about. It sounds like you are good for each other now.

NewLeafsFan February 9th, 2018 01:48 AM

Re: In love with someone else
 
You should not feel badly for liking him again. It is very common for someone to like the same person more than once. Or you might not have ever stopped liking him. despite the fact that you were rejected, you did the right thing asking him out. It took a lot of guts but it is so much easier to move on after a rejection than it is you just going around liking him.

That is why I suggest that you ask him out again. I know that it would really hurt to get rejected, but it would be better overall because if you are rejected at least you can move on more easily.

My friend once told me, "If you think he has fun being with you, than you have no reason to think you would reject you for a date."

lallu February 9th, 2018 08:09 AM

Re: In love with someone else
 
I am really grateful to all of you for your nice comments but the problem comes from that I don't even believe he gonna like me again.Like, even if everyone else is telling me that he loves me I won't believe it until he doesn't say it. I don't see a point or a logic him to start just liking me, only because he could fall in love with me so many times and still he didn't do it. So why he would fall in love now? He is so weird as a person and for me it's hard to understand him.I understand that he is going through a lot and that's probably the next reason why I think he wont like me - he just doesn't think about relationship now even though he is telling me that he really wants to finally loses his virginity and etc. Something tells me that this is like destiny, me to fall in love again but in the same time I am like ''he won't ever fall in love with you, stupid''

donoble February 13th, 2018 12:16 AM

Re: In love with someone else
 
Hi there, I think he understood his mistake and according to me, you should give him a second chance. I know it is hard to come back in the same situation.

Ethan19 February 13th, 2018 04:49 PM

Re: In love with someone else
 
I'd be careful you're not misinterpreting things. No offence, but a lot of people feel that others share their deepest thoughts when in reality it's nothing. I don't think he's come through some catharsis where he's suddenly realised his wrong, that's an idealisation I hope no one is foolish enough to believe. On the other hand, I do believe that people change their mind (often not on this topic though). Only way to get this answered is ask! It'll hurt if it's like it was before but you'll need that, it sounds cold but it's true. Also remember, we all have different expectations of relationships, he just might not have the same as yours...

XMy-Waifu-Is-MonikaX February 17th, 2018 04:29 PM

Re: In love with someone else
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by donoble (Post 3631499)
Hi there, I think he understood his mistake and according to me, you should give him a second chance. I know it is hard to come back in the same situation.

I agree with you there

Uniquemind February 18th, 2018 04:21 AM

Re: In love with someone else
 
I've been here and my advice is to acknowledge your sense of love, but take that feeling and morph it into a more motherly or soft kind of love and feed that into a friendship, overtime mentally you'll notice a friendship deepen, but the longing to take that deep feeling and make it romantic-sexual can fade away.


But it's a weird situation because depending on your choice you can pivot and invest that sense emotional motivations and energy into the more lustful and desirable side of passion and affection and down that road is the road to turning this situation into a more boyfriend girlfriend situation at greater risk of all romantic love entails.


It's complicated and for this reason, I advise going slow and broaching the topic slowly if he remembers the last time you confessed. You'll have to explain to him that your guard is up and is a limiting psychological factor of how close you are going to open up to him, because you can't go down the hurt of rejection again.

You will have to ask him directly for clarification if all he wants is still friendship, even if he perhaps wants a friend with benefits, draw a line if that's something that you cannot do for your own mental health.

lallu February 20th, 2018 10:36 AM

Re: In love with someone else
 
About my current bf, we are in ldr and he is working like all day so we dont have much time for talking or chatting. I feel bad about him because he was the one who made my forget my first love and now I would hurt him in case something happens.If you ask about my feelings - i dont know, really.He is really dear for me but I am not sure if I love him anymore.I think all the time about the other...

Uniquemind February 20th, 2018 01:18 PM

Re: In love with someone else
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lallu (Post 3634104)
About my current bf, we are in ldr and he is working like all day so we dont have much time for talking or chatting. I feel bad about him because he was the one who made my forget my first love and now I would hurt him in case something happens.If you ask about my feelings - i dont know, really.He is really dear for me but I am not sure if I love him anymore.I think all the time about the other...

Other what?



But let me let you know this, you will break hearts in life, that is unavoidable and although it’s ideal you never hurt someone else’s feelings innthe pursuit of your own true happiness and self-identity search, you shouldn’t feel guilty for that.


Relationships are a two way street, that includes friendship.


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