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-   -   I feel like I'm going to hate adult life (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2040626)

AussieNicholas October 10th, 2017 12:46 AM

I feel like I'm going to hate adult life
 
I'm 17, turning 18 in about a month, and in my second last year of high school. This year I've felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work the teachers expect to us, to the point that I feel like I wouldn't have any time for myself if I tried to do well in all of my subjects. I've spent most of this year angry because the school expects students to just shut up and deal with it even though they're asking students to give up most of their own time because the school says so. The school keeps bugging me and trying to 'help' me manage it better, but the fact is that the amount of work they're handing out would cut into most of the time I have for myself.

It's gotten to the point where I'm just not exciting to go into the adult world because I feel like this is the kind of standard people will expect of me. I don't want to give up the things I care about just so I can get a job I hate because I need to live somehow. And it's not like I have any prospect of getting married or having a relationship, so I'm constantly wondering what the point is. What's the point of living if 90% I hate what I do and I'm exhausted and miserable? It's at the point where a part of me just doesn't want to live because I feel like this is how things will be from now on.

BlackParadePixie October 10th, 2017 12:57 AM

Re: I feel like I'm going to hate adult life
 
Well....yeah, I mean that's what school is supposed to do. Prepare you for the real world. What did you think adult life was going to be like? Fun and games, 24/7? Unless you happen to win the lottery or something, it's not. You gotta work hard for yourself in order to support whatever sort of lifestyle you want.

AussieNicholas October 10th, 2017 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackParadePixie (Post 3580104)
Well....yeah, I mean that's what school is supposed to do. Prepare you for the real world. What did you think adult life was going to be like? Fun and games, 24/7? Unless you happen to win the lottery or something, it's not. You gotta work hard for yourself in order to support whatever sort of lifestyle you want.

I didn't think it would be like this constantly. The workload just doesn't seem to end and I feel like this is all it's going to be. I'm not asking to just be let off easy but I would like to at least be able to devote some of my time to things that aren't school related. I'd even be able to deal with not doing well in every class and focus on the classes that'll help most but my school is constantly trying to get involved in the lives of students and pressure them into feeling like there life's going to be shit if they don't do well in every subject. I don't feel like it's unreasonable to feel angry when you have to just give up the stuff you care about completely just for a grade that barely means much. If that's what life is why should I care about living?

I'll admit that school used to be really easy for me and maybe my work ethic isn't great, but I feel like now I just can't meet the standard that the school is asking of me without being burned out and exhausted.

I'm just going to add this second post because I realise I went off on a rant there and didn't explain myself well. I just want to state that I've had suicidal thoughts as far back as January 2016, and for about a year and a half this mentality was constant. I'd just feel anxious about coming to school, and for a while I couldn't really talk to anyone about it because I've never really been a social person and communicating with others was hard for me and still is. I've gotten crap from my dad for this all the time in the past, where he would get angry at me because I'm not very social and I feel like I could never argue back without getting into more trouble. At school I felt like everyone secretly wanted me gone, because I know I can be a bit awkward at times and sometimes I get signs that people don't want to talk to me. It's also not easy for me to empathize with other people and I don't feel any personal connection to even my own family (I know that sounds horrible but I don't see how I can really change this). I feel guilty because I'm not the person my parents wish I was and between this and school I don't get much of a break from the stress. This has led to me getting angry easily to the point where some friends have stopped talking to me. I know I've contributed to some of these issues myself but I don't believe I'm being lazy here and I'm sorry if that's the impression I gave. I want to be able to manage my own life but I feel like there's just no way for me to meet the kind of standard everyone expects from me. I hope this clears things up.

dancedreamergirl November 6th, 2017 05:28 PM

Re: I feel like I'm going to hate adult life
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AussieNicholas (Post 3580102)
I'm 17, turning 18 in about a month, and in my second last year of high school. This year I've felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work the teachers expect to us, to the point that I feel like I wouldn't have any time for myself if I tried to do well in all of my subjects. I've spent most of this year angry because the school expects students to just shut up and deal with it even though they're asking students to give up most of their own time because the school says so. The school keeps bugging me and trying to 'help' me manage it better, but the fact is that the amount of work they're handing out would cut into most of the time I have for myself.

It's gotten to the point where I'm just not exciting to go into the adult world because I feel like this is the kind of standard people will expect of me. I don't want to give up the things I care about just so I can get a job I hate because I need to live somehow. And it's not like I have any prospect of getting married or having a relationship, so I'm constantly wondering what the point is. What's the point of living if 90% I hate what I do and I'm exhausted and miserable? It's at the point where a part of me just doesn't want to live because I feel like this is how things will be from now on.

I'm so sorry :( Are you planning to go to college? Because in college, you get to choose your major, which means you get to take classes you actually enjoy. And the point of it is to prepare yourself for a job in a field that you love.

I always hated school up until college, and then I loved it. What is it that you are interested in, may I ask? What is it that you're passionate about? I hope that you pursue that dream, whatever it is.

And if you don't know yet? That's fine. Many people change their college majors. Community college is there for people who don't know what they want to do yet, and for them to try out different things and see what they like best. It's fine. The important thing to know is that you do NOT have to take a job in a field you are miserable in. You have every right to pursue your dream, whatever it is. I completely agree with you, life isn't worth living when you're not happy and working at a job you hate. So why not work for and pursue a career that you love? I guaruntee that there is something out there for you, and I hope you find it and go after it with all your heart. You can do this! :)

AussieNicholas November 7th, 2017 04:24 AM

Re: I feel like I'm going to hate adult life
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dancedreamergirl (Post 3587815)
I'm so sorry :( Are you planning to go to college? Because in college, you get to choose your major, which means you get to take classes you actually enjoy. And the point of it is to prepare yourself for a job in a field that you love.

I always hated school up until college, and then I loved it. What is it that you are interested in, may I ask? What is it that you're passionate about? I hope that you pursue that dream, whatever it is.

And if you don't know yet? That's fine. Many people change their college majors. Community college is there for people who don't know what they want to do yet, and for them to try out different things and see what they like best. It's fine. The important thing to know is that you do NOT have to take a job in a field you are miserable in. You have every right to pursue your dream, whatever it is. I completely agree with you, life isn't worth living when you're not happy and working at a job you hate. So why not work for and pursue a career that you love? I guaruntee that there is something out there for you, and I hope you find it and go after it with all your heart. You can do this! :)

Thank you. In the past couple of months I've started feeling better than I used to, but I still feel down at times. My real aspiration for quite a while is to be a writer (I've enjoyed writing fiction as a hobby since I was about 10), but I'm worried that I'll struggle to make a career out of it so I've been trying to keep my options open. My best subjects this year have been law, psychology and English. I'm considering doing something with law as a backup but I'm also not that excited about the idea. I enjoy history as well, but I'm hesitant to really pursue it since I don't know if I'll have that many job prospects over here. I'm sure if I went to another country I could find a job without much trouble but I doubt I'll ever have the money for something like that. I've been trying to write more regularly and I'm putting more planning into my stories and trying to sort of self-teach online, but my writing time is limited since I've got exams this week and I need to start looking for a job once the holidays start, so that cuts into a lot of my spare time.

ambitious_eclipse November 8th, 2017 02:47 PM

Re: I feel like I'm going to hate adult life
 
Honestly, I don't think anyone LIKES adult life. And pretty much everyone our age feels the same way you do! So you're not alone.

I would say more, but I really don't have time as I'm in class right now. Feel free to leave a message for me!


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