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-   -   Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2040321)

Chaosphere September 23rd, 2017 04:33 AM

Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
So a bit of background, I've been self-harming for the past few weeks, the past three days seriously but not for the usual reasons. I don't get that high that people describe much anymore, I want the scars. It sounds strange but I want the outward signs of what I've survived and how I hurt and that I'm strong enough to make it through. I'm afraid my scars will fade, all the recent ones have bled fairly well blah blah, but I feel like I can't go deep enough, it hurts too much and I feel pathetic, weak, and worthless that I can't go deep. I want them to last forever, I don't want them to fade. My questions are thus:

I want to know if the ones I have will scar, how deep does the cut have to be on an average caucasian male to scar permanently and visibly?

Does anyone else feel like they can't even cut themselves right? I feel like I'm not going deep enough and not being strong enough.

Bluegrass September 23rd, 2017 09:57 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
If you cut deep enough it will surely scar forever but try to have some control and don't do that.

Sere September 23rd, 2017 10:29 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Cuts deep enough will scar. Trying to scar can end much worse than regular cutting. Please try some of the methods to try and stop. Or do something less harmful

Please @Chaosphere

NewLeafsFan September 24th, 2017 12:58 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
I heavily urge you to get professional help. Just because you might think that you have scars today does not mean that you will want them tomorrow. If when you are in a better place, still want something on your body about being a survivor then you can always get a tattoo. There are always better days a head. Good luck.

devotionnel September 24th, 2017 01:13 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Like the others have said, try and get a safer method of doing something such as that like a tattoo. You describe an addiction for the scars starting to form in the early stages. That obsession is going to get you seriously hurt and injured.

Chaosphere September 24th, 2017 04:32 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
So just so everyone knows, I already have professional help, IE therapy and medication. As you can see it hasn't done much, but I'll keep going with it and try to make it work. I just hate myself so much tonight, I should withstand so much more pain and I know how pathetic I am.

Dying Ember September 28th, 2017 12:33 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Even the tiniest cuts can scar and remain visible for months or years. It depends on your individual skin and how you generally heal. Obviously more severe cuts will scar and remain for life. I urge you to stop now. It only gets worse. I self harmed for years and am now left with horrible scars that cover my limbs and back. They will never go away and that's NOT a good thing

BlackBike9 September 29th, 2017 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewLeafsFan (Post 3575067)
I heavily urge you to get professional help. Just because you might think that you have scars today does not mean that you will want them tomorrow. If when you are in a better place, still want something on your body about being a survivor then you can always get a tattoo. There are always better days a head. Good luck.

Ι totally agree!Scars aren't the proof you are strong. They actually disapprove it! You seem weak and you may be as you cannot handle this situation. The worst of all is that you think you don't need help and you want it. Probably, you are so addicted to this you forget there are hundred things can make you feel stronger. For example, donation, a test challenge will probably make you feel you are smarter than you think etc. This isn't a way to avoid your fear; Being weak.

Chaosphere September 29th, 2017 10:07 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackBike9 (Post 3576785)
Ι totally agree!Scars aren't the proof you are strong. They actually disapprove it! You seem weak and you may be as you cannot handle this situation...

Did you just call me weak? I understand if English isn't your forte or first language but it's pretty damn obvious from my posts that weakness is like my number 1 trigger and you completely bowled it over. If you're going to give advice and support to people with mental illness, you really really need to use more consideration. Thinking before you speak is a valuable skill.

Dalcourt September 29th, 2017 10:30 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chaosphere (Post 3577035)
Did you just call me weak? I understand if English isn't your forte or first language but it's pretty damn obvious from my posts that weakness is like my number 1 trigger and you completely bowled it over. If you're going to give advice and support to people with mental illness, you really really need to use more consideration. Thinking before you speak is a valuable skill.

Hey...I know it sounded bad but I don't think she was trying to insult you in a way.

I self harm a lot even though not for getting a high but to get rid off pressure.
Scaring depends on different factors. I have some really ugly scars from minor stuff while really grave injuries hardly scared at all.

The whole scars thing is something you might feel good about now but might regret later so be sure about what you do to yourself.

I am stuck in that vicious circle of hurting myself for years. There's no doing this right or not...it has as many shades as there are people so I am not sure why you think you do it wrong or what you said in your original post.

Do you talk about this in your therapy? Just wondering cuz therapy changed my view on my self harming completely.

Dying Ember October 1st, 2017 04:43 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
It feels like this post is asking for tips on how to self harm, I understand that things are difficult and people can struggle with this aspect but I don't think it's appropriate

Chaosphere October 1st, 2017 04:47 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dying Ember (Post 3577397)
It feels like this post is asking for tips on how to self harm, I understand that things are difficult and people can struggle with this aspect but I don't think it's appropriate

Sorry you feel that way. What I'm try to gauge is different peoples' experiences and emotions relation to the subject, not to fish for techniques. The fact is that with self-harm and low self esteem, there are probably always some who'll never feel they're, "correctly," doing something like this. I feel like that, I just wanted to know if anyone else did, that's why I asked about the cuts I already have instead of instructions. If anyone starts trying to bring up techniques, I'll tell them they're missing the point and let the mods guide them back in the right direction. Hope that clears up your confusion.

BlackBike9 October 2nd, 2017 12:43 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chaosphere (Post 3577035)
Did you just call me weak? I understand if English isn't your forte or first language but it's pretty damn obvious from my posts that weakness is like my number 1 trigger and you completely bowled it over. If you're going to give advice and support to people with mental illness, you really really need to use more consideration. Thinking before you speak is a valuable skill.


I'm really really sorry if you thought my intention was to insult you. Anyway, I was silly to write so directly thinking you understand my syllogism. Sorry again and again. What I wanted to tell you was that the scars should challenge you to stop this. Okay? And I'm a really sensitive person who only wants to help.

Goodnight :)

Chaosphere October 4th, 2017 05:00 AM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackBike9 (Post 3577804)
I'm really really sorry if you thought my intention was to insult you. Anyway, I was silly to write so directly thinking you understand my syllogism. Sorry again and again. What I wanted to tell you was that the scars should challenge you to stop this. Okay? And I'm a really sensitive person who only wants to help.

Goodnight :)

Yeah, I added the language thing in there to hedge my bets in case there was a language barrier issue. I'm sure you'll help a lot of people around here. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

Love.Hate October 5th, 2017 05:26 PM

Re: Questions I really shouldn't be asking but need answered anyway
 
In my personal experience the worse thing I did was hurt myself badly that it’s left me with scarring years later. At the age of 22 I’m constantly reminded of the desperate state I was in at 15/16/17 years old. I find my scarring very difficult with recovery and something that I dread my future children questioning me about. Even the smallest cuts will leave you with scars, I’d strongly advise against seriously damaging yourself. For your future mental well-being in addition to your health now. I used to feel like I didn’t do it properly but then it spirals out of control and you end up regretting it years later. Try to be kind to yourself and talk openly about this with your therapist.


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