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-   -   How do I ask for help? (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2040084)

WhoWhatWhen September 13th, 2017 12:24 AM

How do I ask for help?
 
For the past few months, maybe even years, I believe I've been struggling with some type of anxiety/depression disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've just been feeling worse and worse everyday. For these reasons, I think I need to ask for help.

But what do I say? How can I tell my parent how I've been feeling and that I'm serious and it's not just an "I'm in a mood" thing? I've been told that kind of brushed off when I asked a few years ago and I really don't want to get that again.

I'm really getting to my limit honestly, I feel even more defeated and hopeless everyday. I really don't want to anything stupid. :(

Just JT September 13th, 2017 05:49 AM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
I know it's harder than it seems, but you just use your words. How you put it here, tbh, is fucking perfect. No good and loving parent will brush that off.

If you need to, print that post, and hand it to your parent just like that if you can't say those words.

By not saying/doing anything, it'll only get worse, you know that. Saying something is the biggest and hardest step.

Some people think it's a sign of weakness. I don't, I see it as a sign of how strong you really are disputed your own self image. Cause you need to overcome how you perceive others will seee youncause younask for help. And that's huge.

Practice saying what you'll say, try different words, maybe even post those words here for some feedback till you get the right combination that works for you.

I hope this is a help. You shouldn't go this alone

xXl0sth0peXx September 13th, 2017 11:25 AM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
First of all, kudos to you for admitting that you need help. It's not an easy thing to do at all, but there's no shame.

You just need to bite the bullet and tell them that you're really not doing well, and that you need to see a therapist. Let them really know how you're feeling though. Just casually walking up probably won't accomplish a lot, but going and having them sit down and have a real conversation might also show them that you're serious about this and that it's different.

Practicing what you're talking as JT said is a possible idea as well- myself and anyone here would be more than happy to help you.

If I/we can support you in anyway, don't hesitate to reach out. We have your back. x

devotionnel September 13th, 2017 01:42 PM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
Honestly, I'm in the exact same situation as you. I need help but I'm too scared to ask for it or actively seek it.

Another part of acceptance is to try your best to create excuses around it, like "I don't have enough time for it".

If you have a good relationship with your parents bring it up quite frequently, seek their advice. Maybe with frequent conversations saying you want help they will listen and try their best to help you.

If they don't want to help or don't understand the gravity of the situation, or if you don't feel comfortable telling them, go on your own. You don't need to be accompanied. Obviously it might be very different in the US since you need to pay for therapy, but if you can go to the doctors first and get a consultation it can steer you in the right direction in which you could tell your parents and it could help them understand how serious you really are.

jamie_n5 September 13th, 2017 03:15 PM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
You and @devotionnel both need to do what @xXlOsthOpeXx has said. You need to tell your parents that you do not feel well mentally and emotionally and want and need to see your doctor now before something terrible happens. Your doctor can get you to the help you need. Please do this now and be firm with your parents. If they brush you off again go to a clinic on your own. You are brave on admitting your problems so be brave in getting help too. God be with you.

Chaosphere October 6th, 2017 04:09 AM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WhoWhatWhen (Post 3571233)
For the past few months, maybe even years, I believe I've been struggling with some type of anxiety/depression disorder. I've never been diagnosed but I've just been feeling worse and worse everyday. For these reasons, I think I need to ask for help.

But what do I say? How can I tell my parent how I've been feeling and that I'm serious and it's not just an "I'm in a mood" thing? I've been told that kind of brushed off when I asked a few years ago and I really don't want to get that again.

I'm really getting to my limit honestly, I feel even more defeated and hopeless everyday. I really don't want to anything stupid. :(

I understand totally where you're coming from. I got the exact same thing with my parents still do. I'm already in therapy once a week and medication and they still, especially my mother, believe that it's just a phase that can be worked through. The way I did it was I gave my mother a note before I went to work that asked her to look up borderline personality disorder (which was what I thought I had at the time). She later asked me why I had her look it up and who had it, and I told her maybe me.
I later showed my dad the few cuts I had on my arms at that time. That started a several month battle to give them context. Use what you wrote here. It's excellent, just accent it with more details of your mental state, whatever you're comfortable with giving up. Good for you getting treatment. I'm always around if you want to chat as well.

pauly December 1st, 2017 11:57 AM

Re: How do I ask for help?
 
You're already half-way to getting better. As you can see there are lots of people on here who will listen to you and try to help.

And once you gain confidence on this site, you might be brave enough to talk things over with someone you can trust in your family, or even a close friend. Just remember you're not alone.

But what to say and how to say it has to be completely up to you. If I were you, I wouldn't even try to plan what to say; just let the words spill out and you'll feel so much better. I just know you will.

Good luck and try to be strong.


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