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-   -   Is it normal to start to like being bullied? (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2038014)

wolfbuddy June 23rd, 2017 01:10 PM

Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
I've always been smaller than kids my age and so most bullies targeted me all my life. My latest bully started bullying me three years back and he used to bully me everyday till now. Now suddenly he has stopped and I feel as uncomfortable as hell, it this normal?

For so many years he used to take my lunch money, punch me and hurt me, spread nasty rumors about me, make fun of me for being gay, and also do nasty things like strip me naked, but suddenly he stopped a few days ago. At first I thought I would feel good that he stopped it but now I feel uncomfortable as shit. I find myself trying to sit next to him or attract him to me so that he would do that to me again. I don't know what's going on with me.

is this normal or am I mentally sick?

Nadin June 23rd, 2017 01:21 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Not normal at all,did you report it to your family?

Endeavour June 23rd, 2017 01:23 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
It's good that it's over now, though I'm not sure why you want to be bullied. Maybe because it's been going on so long (it seems like it has been based on what you've wrote) it feels weird and unusual that it's over. I know that when people stopped bullying me I felt so much relief, do you not even feel one bit of relief at all?

wolfbuddy June 23rd, 2017 03:33 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Endeavour (Post 3535930)
do you not even feel one bit of relief at all?

I initially felt some as he stopped bullying me, but after about a week it began to feel weird. It has been two weeks since then.

I just feel the urge to get hit by him or just be bullied by him, I don't know why but I just want to. I don't like it when I'm bullied, but not being bullied is even worse.

Elysium June 23rd, 2017 04:49 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
I haven't studied psychology at all, but if I were to hazard an uneducated guess, you're probably unsettled by the disruption of a routine. You're so used to it by now, it's strange to no longer have it. Perhaps you also liked the attention, even though it was negative?

There are probably many explanations for why you're feeling the way you're feeling. If I've learned anything in the past year about bizarre emotional responses, it's that there's no such thing as normal. You're feeling however you're feeling - it's up to you if you want to try to find out why.

Just JT June 23rd, 2017 06:11 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
I wouldn't say it's strange really. And here's my 2 cents why

People (kids) who have been abused by say their parents...that's attention they are receiving from their parents. Parents who the kids love and parents who are also supposed to love them back. But after not getting that affection, over a long time, even the abuse itself is still attention, and the kids still in a way want that, as it is still attention from Their parents.

You mentioned him making you strip and (I'm assuming) you give him a BJ? Some people are sexually submissive like that. Sex really has no rules as long as all people involved are consenting and nobody gets hurt. That's true for
A don/sub type thing.

Not saying what was dont is ok, good, right, cause it's not, all abuse is wrong. Even if you liked it.

That being said, abusers like it when their abused are really being abused. If the abused likes what's happening, it's a total buzz kill for them, and may be why he stopped.

Just my thoughts. But I'll add, this is pretty deep stuff, and may be pretty hard to come to terms with on your own. I'd suggest talking to a trusted professional to help with that. Abuse, regardless if you liked it or not is still abuse. And the scars left behind are not visable but are there forever. And can change you and your way of thinking. So much that you may seek out that same abuse as a way to comfort your wounds.

Trust me, been there, talk to someone ok? You can't go it alone

lliam June 23rd, 2017 06:42 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
If he suddenly stopped bullying you, you might feel the aftermath of a kind of the Stockholm syndrome . May be it's because you didn't take not much actions to get rid of him or such ... but that's just a guess


I suppose this feeling should disappear when time goes by. If not, there may are other reasons why you are feeling and acting this way. But I don't see that this has anything to do with mental illness.

Anyway, you should definitely talk with your parents about it or someone else you can trust too ... if nothing changes longterms in this case.

wolfbuddy June 24th, 2017 02:16 AM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
He didn't stop because I started liking it, everytime I'm bullied I cry and whine like a little puppy and the bullies enjoy it and so they do so again and again. He stopped for some other reason and I don't know what.

It is possible that I'm used to getting bullied and so it feels uncomfortable not to be, but would that compel me to get bullied again? I soo want to be hit by him and be bullied now, even though I hate being bullied.

Also it is possible that I want attention, because my single-parent mom doesn't stay at home at all and I don't have many friends who I can trust.

Anniebanannie June 24th, 2017 11:15 AM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3535972)
I initially felt some as he stopped bullying me, but after about a week it began to feel weird. It has been two weeks since then.

I just feel the urge to get hit by him or just be bullied by him, I don't know why but I just want to. I don't like it when I'm bullied, but not being bullied is even worse.

I'm going to take a guess that over time it will be better as you get used to not being abused and treated as you're meant to be treated.

wolfbuddy June 24th, 2017 12:03 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anniebanannie (Post 3536316)
I'm going to take a guess that over time it will be better as you get used to not being abused and treated as you're meant to be treated.

I really hope so, because I don't know what I will do.

Anniebanannie June 24th, 2017 01:03 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3536335)
I really hope so, because I don't know what I will do.

I hope so too. Do you have friends who can give you positive kinds of attention? That would be much better.

wolfbuddy June 24th, 2017 02:52 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anniebanannie (Post 3536343)
I hope so too. Do you have friends who can give you positive kinds of attention? That would be much better.

No and that is the only issue (I think), if i tell them they'd laugh about it.

Kooy June 24th, 2017 02:56 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
I started likeing it, so did my friend. We both had started seeking people out to degrade us and tell us to cut and other things. Those mow we stoped its been levitating.

Anniebanannie June 24th, 2017 03:52 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3536378)
No and that is the only issue (I think), if i tell them they'd laugh about it.


Well, you wouldn't ask them to give you positive attention. It's just that when you're with people who like you, you feel more at home and better about yourself.

Can I ask how old you are?

Just JT June 24th, 2017 04:49 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3536240)
He didn't stop because I started liking it, everytime I'm bullied I cry and whine like a little puppy and the bullies enjoy it and so they do so again and again. He stopped for some other reason and I don't know what.

It is possible that I'm used to getting bullied and so it feels uncomfortable not to be, but would that compel me to get bullied again? I soo want to be hit by him and be bullied now, even though I hate being bullied.

Also it is possible that I want attention, because my single-parent mom doesn't stay at home at all and I don't have many friends who I can trust.

Not saying your right or wrong, but by your own admission, you don't know why he stopped. So I may be right. It could be that he simply sensed you liked it, and lost the thrill. And he coulda just grown up, and noticed what he was doing is really wrong and bad. And I hope he continues to leave you alone.

And I'd get to talking to someone about all this. This can be some pretty heavy stuff to deal with mentally. Talk to mom, maybe start talking to a counselor or something.

wolfbuddy June 25th, 2017 03:53 AM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anniebanannie (Post 3536398)
Well, you wouldn't ask them to give you positive attention. It's just that when you're with people who like you, you feel more at home and better about yourself.

Can I ask how old you are?

Just turned 13.

Anniebanannie June 25th, 2017 01:41 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3536591)
Just turned 13.

OK.

I think JT gave you some good advive.

Just JT July 9th, 2017 12:38 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfbuddy (Post 3535926)
I've always been smaller than kids my age and so most bullies targeted me all my life. My latest bully started bullying me three years back and he used to bully me everyday till now. Now suddenly he has stopped and I feel as uncomfortable as hell, it this normal?

For so many years he used to take my lunch money, punch me and hurt me, spread nasty rumors about me, make fun of me for being gay, and also do nasty things like strip me naked, ask me to give him bjs and so on, but suddenly he stopped a few days ago. At first I thought I would feel good that he stopped it but now I feel uncomfortable as shit. I find myself trying to sit next to him or attract him to me so that he would do that to me again. I don't know what's going on with me.

is this normal or am I mentally sick?

How's things been going with this?

SamMystic July 9th, 2017 12:59 PM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
Not normal.
But ho ho wait a second, he made you blow him? Thats rape dude.. Make him pay, tell the cops or whatever, its sick what he did!

folej003 July 12th, 2017 11:25 AM

Re: Is it normal to start to like being bullied?
 
To be honest with you I think you should be relieved, I briefly studied a certain part of psychology and perhaps its down to the routine that you maybe miss that, i for one haven't been bullied as such but I cant imagine its a nice feeling and I would have thought most people would be so glad if there bully stopped targeting them. Having said that I noticed you say that your mum isn't home much so you don't get much attention.

if you link the two together I assume that when you were getting bullied that you spoke to your mum about it and she perhaps showed concern and gave you more attention because of it. We are both someway off having 100 posts so I cant private message you but id love to talk to you a bit more privately about it if there's anyway you can think that we can Id be more than happy to, whether it be emails or social networking. I think perhaps you just need a bit of support, time and people close to you that you can talk to about it.


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