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-   -   Guilty about burdening others (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2037482)

KatieCO2003 May 30th, 2017 11:58 PM

Guilty about burdening others
 
I don't know where else to say this... I feel like I'm burdening others with the drama of my life and my abuse. My friends shouldn't have to deal with my mess and I feel guilty that they are being pulled into it. They didn't ask to be a part of this. What do I do? I don't want to alienate or loose them.

zzzzzzzzzz May 31st, 2017 12:08 AM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Oh Katie *hugs*. We all go through tough patches. I know it not the best time for you just now :-(. But your dad loves you very much. We do care for you. Please use here to shout and scream. You are not alone.❤

lolaa May 31st, 2017 05:22 AM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
exactly , you aren't alone.
if you feel like it isn't best to tell them then don't bring it up till they do.
you can always come here and say what's on your mind

Mollypop May 31st, 2017 12:16 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Friends are supposed to be there to support each other. Everyone has their ups and downs, and it's so important to have people around you to help you up when you're down. I'm sure you would do the same for them. That doesn't make you a burden, that makes you a friend.

And we're here for you, too. It's not the same as being in person, but sometimes it's better online.

tigers May 31st, 2017 12:31 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
You are no burden message me��

Anniebanannie May 31st, 2017 05:24 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Katie,

1) That's what friends are for, and
2) It might become too much for some if all the relationship is about is your problems.

So, check and see if you're also listening to them and what's going on in their lives and being supportive.

3) This is a great place to vent, as others have said

4) I don't remember if you said you had a therapist, but she can take some of the burden off your friends, plus therapists know how to use your venting to help you.

5) Mayke sure you say thank you to your friends for being such good friends.

And take care. You're a good person. :)

DerpyGirl June 1st, 2017 03:09 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Oh sweet Katie, you are not being a burden to anyone. That is exactly what true friends are for. That's what parts of this website are for. There are others out there going through the same things as you. If someone makes you think or feel that you are burdening them, then they are not a very good friend. Like Annie said though, friendship is a two way street. Make sure you are asking how others are doing as well. That way people don't think you're only a friend when you have troubles.

EvaNL June 4th, 2017 05:06 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
I totally agree with what everyone else has said.

You are not burdening them. You are bonding. You opening up about your problems makes them open up about theirs as well. And talking about problems helps. And it gets you closer to your friends.
The ones that push you away because of you opening up are not worth being called your friends anyway. You shouldn't put too much energy in those people.
HUGGGG

SethfromMI June 4th, 2017 05:09 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
we all need help sometimes, there is nothing to feel ashamed of of that and if they truly care for you, then they will always be there to help you out when they are able to do so.

Just JT June 10th, 2017 06:24 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Friends are there to lean on when you need them. If you were a burden, they'd be sending out signals or avoiding you. But I don't hear that in your post.
So I'm pretty sure there ok with stuff and wana be there for you. That's what friends are for

Bot93 July 15th, 2017 03:52 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
I know how you feel as I felt the same way around the time when I left high school for a few years after. So I'm ready to help/be dragged into it if you need help. :)

elmoc July 17th, 2017 09:06 PM

Re: Guilty about burdening others
 
Hi Katie,
You seem to be a very kind & caring person, & I'm sure that you have supported friendswhen they were in a crisis. One of the best things you can do for those friends is to allow them to return that support.

I had an older brother killed by a drunk driver a few years ago. My friends listened to me, cried with me, & offered so much support. Since that time, I have been able to offer support to them when they had family problems. This is why we have good friends, to support each other.

This is what I learned: When my brother was killed, my friends REALLY wanted to help me through it, but they didn't know what to do. When I asked them to just listen to me, I had a chance to talk through my feelings. Even better, when we finished, THEY also felt better, because they were able to do something for me.


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