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-   -   Creepy comments and messages on VT (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2036872)

KatieCO2003 May 6th, 2017 09:19 PM

Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
I joined VT a while back because it seemed like a good place to discuss things I was struggling over with a group of people my own age. And I'm happy that I've been able to do that. But, it seems that the questions I've had and responses I've posted have made me the target of lurkers and creeps. I've received several very personal comments and messages regarding my sexuality... things that are completely wrong to say to someone my age.

Maybe its just me and my social anxiety, but that really freaks me out and makes me not want to post anything here again.

A few months ago, someone very close to me tried to manipulate me into giving my virginity to her adult boyfriend. The manipulation turned into intimidation, and then threats. I did finally get out of that situation, but it completely destroyed my life as I knew it. Since then, I've been trying to put myself back together, but every time some creep says something lewd to me, I feel like I'm right back where I was 8 months ago. My mind goes crazy wondering if it's all just my fault for trying to express my sexuality and my body goes rigid and I can't move or speak and I don't know what to do.

Harrier May 6th, 2017 09:50 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Sorry that situation with your friend happened and that you don't always feel comfortable here. I could probably take a lot of time and come up with a ton of suggestions. However imo the best suggestion is that thru life people will always purposefully and accidentally try to piss u off but you will always be most successfull and happy if you don't let them get to you. You can't control other people but you can control your feelings. Be the better person. Hope that helps.

KatieCO2003 May 6th, 2017 10:05 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Harrier (Post 3516911)
Sorry that situation with your friend happened and that you don't always feel comfortable here. I could probably take a lot of time and come up with a ton of suggestions. However imo the best suggestion is that thru life people will always purposefully and accidentally try to piss u off but you will always be most successfull and happy if you don't let them get to you. You can't control other people but you can control your feelings. Be the better person. Hope that helps.

I'm trying.... but I'm having a really bad night and I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do.

SethfromMI May 6th, 2017 10:19 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
I am sorry that has happened to you here, on a site that is supposed to be a safe zone for people. If anyone on here ever makes you feel that way, report them. I can't say what will happen for sure, but the mods do a great job at protecting people on here to the very best of their ability and they will help you.

Harrier May 6th, 2017 10:25 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3516919)
I'm trying.... but I'm having a really bad night and I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do.

Dude sorry! Just take it one day at a time. Play your favorite song loud and bounce on your bed!! My friend tried to take her life last month cuz of a situation nearly like yours plus eating disorders. She's transferring schools cuz of it all too. Life can really suck at times. But a good song or a good friend or a good movie or book or memory can make the night or day go much better! Then the same for syarting your day tomorrow. Be awesome Katie. If you need to talk I'm here.

Deleted User May 6th, 2017 10:41 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
As a former staff member here, I do encourage you to report any behaviour that seems inappropriate or makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened. The mods are all lovely people and will do whatever they can to make the forums a safe space for everyone. :)

As for the rest, you are not crazy. Whoever treated you that way was out of line and you have every reason to feel the way you feel. Sexuality can put a lot of pressure on girls your age to begin with, never mind with other people trying to force you into situations you are not comfortable with. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me or throw me a visitor message. I promise it will get easier to cope with.

Uniquemind May 7th, 2017 02:22 AM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Report that immediately, this site should be an extremely safe place to be.

zzzzzzzzzz May 7th, 2017 04:06 AM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Oh Katie. I feel for you. Any thing here can be reported. Even PMs. Mods do have to deal with those. Users can get frozen or banned from this site for being inappropriate. It's a shame that it happens. Report them and the comments will be removed. Speak to the nice ones here to chear yourself up. I'm so glad you got out of that situation at home. Never let anyone tell you to be anything other than who you are. You are Katie. If anything ever gets you down we are here for you

Shiny Moon May 7th, 2017 05:46 AM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3516889)
I joined VT a while back because it seemed like a good place to discuss things I was struggling over with a group of people my own age. And I'm happy that I've been able to do that. But, it seems that the questions I've had and responses I've posted have made me the target of lurkers and creeps. I've received several very personal comments and messages regarding my sexuality... things that are completely wrong to say to someone my age.

Maybe its just me and my social anxiety, but that really freaks me out and makes me not want to post anything here again.

A few months ago, someone very close to me tried to manipulate me into giving my virginity to her adult boyfriend. The manipulation turned into intimidation, and then threats. I did finally get out of that situation, but it completely destroyed my life as I knew it. Since then, I've been trying to put myself back together, but every time some creep says something lewd to me, I feel like I'm right back where I was 8 months ago. My mind goes crazy wondering if it's all just my fault for trying to express my sexuality and my body goes rigid and I can't move or speak and I don't know what to do.

Hi there Katie :)

I'm sorry to hear that :( but glad that you managed to get out of that situation :D
Sadly, there's a lot of people here that only want to molest others, and it's a truly shame that those people take you back to a horrible episode of your life.

Don't wonder if it's your fault, because it's not. I think you're on the right place to express your sexuality or anything else you want. :yes:

Like others have said, there's options to report PMs and abusive messages to the mods ;)

Good luck! :clover:

BlackParadePixie May 7th, 2017 03:51 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
yes, PLEASE report anyone who is being creepy and inappropriate. The less weirdos hanging around here, the better.

Blue-Boy May 7th, 2017 04:15 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
If someone tried to get you to have sex with an adult, you should have reported it to the police. The only way to stop people like that is to get the police involved.

KatieCO2003 May 10th, 2017 10:22 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue-Boy (Post 3517354)
If someone tried to get you to have sex with an adult, you should have reported it to the police. The only way to stop people like that is to get the police involved.

I did. Long messy story that I really don't want to talk or think about.

Anniebanannie May 11th, 2017 06:48 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3518530)
I did. Long messy story that I really don't want to talk or think about.

Katie, I hope the days are getting better for you. :)

Desdemona May 13th, 2017 12:57 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3518530)
I did. Long messy story that I really don't want to talk or think about.

Did you tell your dad or report it to the police? You are describing a crime! :-(

KatieCO2003 May 13th, 2017 09:24 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Desdemona (Post 3519321)
Did you tell your dad or report it to the police? You are describing a crime! :-(

Yeah, there were cops, social workers, psychologists, lawyers, trial... the whole big mess. Too much to think about right now. I just want to be happy. I'll deal with all of it later.

Desdemona May 13th, 2017 09:54 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3519458)
Yeah, there were cops, social workers, psychologists, lawyers, trial... the whole big mess. Too much to think about right now. I just want to be happy. I'll deal with all of it later.

Omg that's horrible! Best of luck to find closure.

Cangirl May 14th, 2017 01:48 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
:( hearing stuff like this really gets me sad and angry all at the same time. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I hope you can get better and recover from it as soon as you can. I know we can never take away the things that are done to us, but I hope it gets easier to deal with and live with soon.

And congrats for reporting them. I know that is super hard to do and scary. Also like everybody else said on here, report the people who are asking to much personal information. I know not everybody is ok sharing and thats ok too. Only share what you're comfortable sharing and dont feel pressured into sharing more.

There are a lot of cool VT'ers out there. But yeah there are some creepers too.

JakeTaylor May 14th, 2017 02:04 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3519458)
Yeah, there were cops, social workers, psychologists, lawyers, trial... the whole big mess. Too much to think about right now. I just want to be happy. I'll deal with all of it later.


I can't do anything to help but I really hope things get better for you.

And as far as creepy messages are concerned, report them to the concerned authorities and you should be fine. Please try to not let it affect you.

I wish you all the best :)

Bot93 July 14th, 2017 04:20 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieCO2003 (Post 3516889)
I joined VT a while back because it seemed like a good place to discuss things I was struggling over with a group of people my own age. And I'm happy that I've been able to do that. But, it seems that the questions I've had and responses I've posted have made me the target of lurkers and creeps. I've received several very personal comments and messages regarding my sexuality... things that are completely wrong to say to someone my age.

Maybe its just me and my social anxiety, but that really freaks me out and makes me not want to post anything here again.

A few months ago, someone very close to me tried to manipulate me into giving my virginity to her adult boyfriend. The manipulation turned into intimidation, and then threats. I did finally get out of that situation, but it completely destroyed my life as I knew it. Since then, I've been trying to put myself back together, but every time some creep says something lewd to me, I feel like I'm right back where I was 8 months ago. My mind goes crazy wondering if it's all just my fault for trying to express my sexuality and my body goes rigid and I can't move or speak and I don't know what to do.

I have Asperger Syndrome so I'm socially awkward among other things an I have a friend in the UK who has Anxiety Disorder. I struggled through high school but I made it out (though still working on my own problems still left unfixed for the most part). I was a Flight Sergeant in the Royal Canadian Air Cadets and never got any higher because of problems with depression caused by friendship problems so though I have leadership, I am still seeing a councilor (spelling?) to help me.

To make you aware of possible reasons why you seem to be getting the messages and comments on here, I'll show you some laws internationally that will surprise you.

Different countries have different laws on this topic such as age of consent and some of them are actually quite surprising. Off topic a bit but in Ireland for an example, if two 16 year olds have sex and go all the way through with it that's perfectly legal but if the same 16 year olds have sex but don't go all the way through with it, somehow that's a criminal offense.

I live in Canada and in Canada, sexual activity with anyone as young as 14 (until May 2008) was legal as long as it was consensual and the adult is not in a position of authority or dependency but since it got raised to 16, sub-laws have been added (I think) saying it depends on the circumstances like how they met, are they dating, how long have they been together, etc. Google "Age of consent reform in Canada"

But the most surprising out of all the laws internationally is Japan. Until around 2014, child porn was legal which surprised me when I found the news report about it on Facebook. How ever,that was only with real children. The Japanese still allow animated child porn and viewing children that way is still considered an acceptable interest there. (Google "BBC News: Why hasn't Japan banned child-porn comics?") So if any of the people messaging you are Japanese, don't be too surprised now.

Those are just some example. So it seems to be a cultural thing sometimes... I don't know the backgrounds of the people messaging you like where they are from but sometimes those last 2 paragraphs may be possibility for a reason. I don't usually come on here since I am busy with work or got other things to do (forums aren't usually my thing anyway) so I don't really know what is going on on this forum but with my experience with depression, social issues and my friends anxiety disorder, my suggestion is talk to a councillor, psychologist or your doctor at the very least as your doctor can point you in the right direction. :)

Flapjack July 14th, 2017 04:39 PM

Re: Creepy comments and messages on VT
 
I'm so sorry to hear everything you had to go through buddy!! I think the VT community can be amazing and so supportive, it has helped me through a lot but there is certainly the issue of creeps. I recommend you report and block those you find creepy and inappropriate buddy :)


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