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-   -   Am I being abused by my girlfriend? (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2035989)

sunflowerfields15 March 31st, 2017 03:27 PM

Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
I've been with my girlfriend Mia for almost six months, and our relationship is going good so far, but she's been acting weird lately. She gets irritated by the smallest thing, and then yells at me for no reason about it. She apologizes after. She's gotten worse over the past month because she's been dealing with issues with her parents. She yells more and louder, and I thought she was going to slap me. A few days ago, I was trying to back away from her when she was yelling, but I was up to the wall and she grabbed my arm and now my wrist has a huge bruise on it. My brother and mom asked about it and I just said it was from dance (I'm a dancer and get bruised a lot). I'm scared and I want to talk to her about it but I don't want her to get upset or have my family find out.

BlackParadePixie March 31st, 2017 04:03 PM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
Personally, IMO, I think calling that abuse would be a stretch. She has a temper, that's obvious. Just talk to her, maybe at a time when you know she is not so annoyed by things.

maddogmj77 April 1st, 2017 05:55 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
If your partner is physically hurting you, then yes, that's abuse.

She may be going through a hard-time right now & taking it out on you. It's difficult to judge the situation.

You need to have a serious conversation with her about this, it's not okay.

It's pretty serious if you're actually scared to talk to your partner about something, that isn't right.

Try bringing it up to her when she's in a calm mood; You can do it over text if you don't feel safe enough to do it in person

Amethyst Rose April 1st, 2017 08:55 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
At this point, I wouldn't call it abuse. But if you don't take care of it while it's still a fledgling then it could very well escalate to that. You need to have a serious talk with her about how her temper is affecting you. If she needs outside help like counseling that's up to her, just let her know you'll support her, you care about her and you can't continue putting up with this.

PlasmaHam April 1st, 2017 09:26 PM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
Abuse is such an overused word. I don't see your girlfriend as initially abusive, but I do suggest you talk to her about her increasing hostility though. She is probably just going through a hard time and doesn't realize that she is taking it out on you. Just talk this out.

Beauregard April 1st, 2017 09:52 PM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
It doesn't matter what you call it but it's wrong not being able to control your temper for whatever reason and lash out on innocents.
So I would advise you to talk to your girlfriend about it. It's maybe not an abusive relationship on this point but it's also not a healthy relationship anymore if you are afraid of her and lie about where your bruises come from.
This is exactly the pattern how abusive relationships start.

Just JT April 3rd, 2017 10:41 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
I agree with everyone here. Abuse is called all kinds of things. And it's an easy progression to get worset, especially if you don't put a stop to it. Only cause she will believe it's ok to treat you this way

Reality is that when someone uses their hands to get a point across to someone else which causes pain and leaves marks on your body, they have some communication issues. She needs to help to fixture out how to express her anger better than that. May not be something you can help her do.

And your lying to your caring family about where the marks came from?
So you know this is all wrong huh?
What do you think they'd say if they knew the truth?

Londongirl01 April 26th, 2017 10:31 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
Yeah, 'abuse' would be a strong term for what you described there. But violence of any amount in a relationship is really unhealthy. Try and address what makes her so angry

Londongirl01 April 26th, 2017 10:31 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
And as hard as it can be at the time, try and just give her a hug- hugs are good :)

Uniquemind April 28th, 2017 02:58 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
I'm going to differ from everybody's sugar-coated answers here and say that "yes", it was an instance of physical abuse.


Do I think it's to the point of a breakup? No. But it's definitely a moment of "we need to talk, these bruises from that argument we had crosses a line".

Here's why I say that, if the shoe were on the other foot, and you left a bruise on her, legally she could claim abuse.

Why everybody else here is forgetting that this part of feminism' equality is beyond me, but it is, especially if physical altercations from her to you become a pattern and you end up bruised or emotionally abused.

zac2004 June 24th, 2017 01:46 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
thats just how women are,

Just JT June 25th, 2017 09:21 AM

Re: Am I being abused by my girlfriend?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Uniquemind (Post 3513856)
I'm going to differ from everybody's sugar-coated answers here and say that "yes", it was an instance of physical abuse.


Do I think it's to the point of a breakup? No. But it's definitely a moment of "we need to talk, these bruises from that argument we had crosses a line".

Here's why I say that, if the shoe were on the other foot, and you left a bruise on her, legally she could claim abuse.

Why everybody else here is forgetting that this part of feminism' equality is beyond me, but it is, especially if physical altercations from her to you become a pattern and you end up bruised or emotionally abused.

Wasn't trying to sugar coat it, I'm on board with you. Abuse comes in many forms, and is/is not gender specific.


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